Drop It On Me.

I know I cannot forget you.

Maybe wearing these pretty clothes would help?

Hello dearies. I'm sorry I've put my blog on 

idle for a very long time now. I've been so busy with errands. But now that I'm back, I'm bringing updates and things for all of you to catch on up. 
So, where was I?

As to regards on my first question to this blog post, maybe wearing these pretty clothes would help? Recently, two of my close girl friends decided to just drop by my crib for a visit. The moment when they saw my closet which's filled with clothes, they stared at me wide-eyed. The first thing they commented was how on Earth did I have so much pretty and expensive dresses, tops, jumpsuits all that. All I did was 
 smiled shyly and I changed the topic quickly.

Last night, your best friends had never seen you behave that way before. They came to my place to actually ask me to see on how you're doing. I decided to dress up quickly and leave with them. They drove me over to where you were. As I ran out the car in a hurry, all I could hear was screaming and yelling from inside. I could hear things breaking from afar. I could hear people fighting. All I could do was say a prayer.

As I walked down the hotel aisle in my high heels, 
I half scan the room with my eyes and I was freaking out as to anything might happen to you. It was then in that moment you caught my eyes and I've never seen you being this mad before. It was such a heartbreaking scene to see you raising your voice like that. You held on to everyone in that place. Throwing tantrums as whoever that leaves would be killed.

It was in that exact moment you saw me, and you decided to hug on your bodyguards and told them to get me off this place. Cause you've never liked me seeing you this way. You know that those tears would kill me inside out. You quickly hugged that guy and yelled so loud to get you out in that instance. I stood there as if someone nailed me so hard to the ground. I stood there like a fool. Like someone struck with spell. My knees felt so weak that I could feel 
I was about to faint at any moment.

Your voice cracked when you shouted at your bodyguards again to get you off that place. It was then that I knew you were actually crying. Those tears that I've never allow them to fall whenever you were around me. Everyone got you far off from me and the moment you walked past me, all I could do, was to hold on to your sleeve and tug them on, all I could whisper to you was that I would be here. That I would be here for you. That your girl would always stand by you whether you're at right or wrong.
 I want everything to be as it used to be.

I am still the old me. The one who would 

wait for you. Forever and more. The one 
who would be stuck on stupid for you.

It was then in that instant you decided to kill me off for the one final time. You looked deep into my eyes, wiped off those tears away, I see more tears gather at your dashing eyes. I feel you jumped slightly as I tug you on. You grab hold of the girl who stood next to you and told me to finally give in. To give up on you. That you are not worth it. That the time is here that I should walk away from you after all these years. 
That I've always been the nice one on you.

You storm off hand in hand with the girl. I could see you half dragging her away. It was then when my legs gave in. I knelt down and I started sobbing. Your best friends stayed by my side and comforted me instead of running off with you. They gave me words of inspirations and said that you were the most stubborn person in the world. That they needed me to talk to you cause I seem to be the only person who can talk you out of things. They wanted me to advice you but 
I really don't know what are we even doing with our lives right now? Running around chasing the wind? These things seemed so meaningless right now.

What happened to you? What got into you? What is it that you had to push me away? What is it that is so big that Raveenaa couldn't even know? 
What have you gotten yourself into?

 

Yesterday, you came to wait outside my door. You wanted to apologize but that ego of yours wouldn't let you come off your car. You stopped outside and you were alone for almost two hours. It was probably my first time that I see you driving by yourself. You said you wanted to, but you couldn't answer it. Your legs wouldn't move and that you decided to be alone outside my house waiting for me. You said this guilt is killing you inside out. That you want me by your side.

You wanted the best for me, you told me not to do anything anymore. That I deserve to be happy. That 

I should be happy with someone else rather than facing all these bad times with you. You could even bring those words up to yout mouth that I am loveable. That you want me to move on in life already instead of sticking by you. You wanted me to give up all out dreams and pursue on what I want instead. You wanted to push me away, thus you decided to say all these things that you no longer need me and then I catch you wiping the end 

of your eyes with the back of your hands. 

That you've sucessfully tricked me. That you're done playing. That you are done messing around. That 
I deserve better. That I am better off without you. 
I couldn't even insist on the idea of saying anything. All I could do was just to keep quiet and listen to you. Well good for you that you've finally broke me into two pieces. That you've won this war on your own. That you can walk over anyone who treated 
you nicely yet you managed to kill everything. 
To pour out every single thing on the line just to win. 
To just decide everything on your own. 
That my fate had to be decided to you as well.

Good for you that you're now a champion. 

You deserve all the congratulations in the world that you've succedeed. This was all a game to you from the beginning. That you wanted the best out of everyone. Not bothering how dirty you could play just to win. Not caring how everyone else might feel. Couldn't even bother less on how these events took place and how it would look in your best friends eyes and everyone who loved you. Most of all, not wanting to know how would I see and feel about it.

 That's final. You took your move. You declared war. You decided to kill me by Checkmate, but 
you've forgotten lots, my dear. It is fatal.

"If that's the case then I don't need you", thank you for saying that. Really from the my heart, thank you for saying that you don't need me anymore in your life. 
I know your intentions were that you're done hurting me, but I'm just gonna shove all these feeling in.

Whenever I see you living so well and smiling 

so brightly, a corner of my heart hurts. I put

on a happy smile and pretended to be calm. 

But I know that you've realized that my 

voice is trembling. I wanted to ask how 

you're doing. But no words came out of my

 lips and I turned back around. You know

everything. You know everything so well. You

know it whenever I put on a forced smile.


 I'm sorry.

- Three hours-

You Know Everything ;

Kim Jong Kook feat. Soya <3 <3 <3

Baby, I can’t, I’m so bad that I want 

to be good to you but it’s hard ;

Every day and night I’m so mean ; 

Cause I’m so real so I’m sorry ;


BUT I CAN'T CHANGE.