Don't You Know?

 Tell me where do I sign up for relationship 
like these? The way he looks at her. 

Tell me where do I sign up for relationship 

like these? The way she cares for him.   

Photos credit to the song, Samjhawan, from the 

Hindi movie, Humpty Sharma Ki Duhalnia. Not many movies can make me cry but here is one out of the many movies that got me crying like a little girl.

This post is written for you who stayed up so late and took me by surprise by texting me over telling me that you were going to sleep but then you thought about me. That small fact that you mentioned that 

I crossed your mind, made me smile at one a.m. 

last night. Thank you so much for that seriously.

You had been wrong all along with your statements. You always thank me for being here for you. But 

the ugly truth, is that, it is I who should thank you for being there for me all the time. For never failing me. For never leaving my side. For watching over me this past five months, I thank you for that. You are indeed like a little Guardian Angel of mine in this law school.

When you told me that you thought of me, I secretly smiled away because despite being so busy, I am so touched by the fact that you made time for me. 
To even talk to me for a little while. That short conversation for only 20 minutes long, was the 
most meaningful one that I ever had with people 
on planet Earth and I thank you for that. 

So, this is me, Raveenaa, wishing you all the best 
for your competition this coming weekend. You can do this okay. I really do have faith in you. Don't worry alright. You guys are gonna do just fine. So just 
go and make us proud. Like you always do. I know 
you will. You would make me proud, as always.

At this point, you have no idea how I wished the competition could be held nearer so I get to travel over to watch you perform. Cause you always take people's breath away whenever you talk. Cause' you make so much sense and you always make your points  and arguments valid. Those are the little things I love most about you! Don't worry. Have a little faith.
You can do this!

GO. FIGHT. WIN. THE. WAR. AND. 
COME. BACK. HOME. CHAMPIONS.

JUST. GO. IN. FOR. THE. KILL.

So, I finally sat down to catch up with all my favourite television series once again. So, out of the current 232 episodes of Running Man, I actually stopped at around episode 200 before I left to University of Malaya. I finally managed to chase back a few episodes lately, so I am currently stuck at episode 206. But here is what I have got to say. Why does it hurt so much seeing bandages all over Kim Jong Kook oppa's knees? Why does it kills to even see him walking so slowly just because he injured his waist or any of his body parts. Why does it even hurt seeing him doing so much weightlifting yet people still do take him easily. It hurts even more seeing him work so hard yet people trash and talks bad about him. He is like my favourite idol and I wish to meet him one day to be able to tell him all these and to just ask him to take care. There was one episode where he actually fell asleep out of exhaustion and 
it has never happened before in any of the 200 episodes so far. Thus, I really hope that people would stop taking advantage out of him cause it sucks considering that this year, is his 20th anniversary debut and I know, Asian singers like him works really hard to be, at the top today. He is so successful yet so humble. It kills not being able to meet him live, 
like upfront face to face before in real life. Sighs. 

Next, this post is also dedicated to my lovely roomate in University of Malaya whom I cannot wait to meet considering she is in Penang right now. Dear Vino, 
I cannot wait for the Chinese New Year already considering I would be up in the North and I would go over your place for a visit. Tell the world I am going back Penang please. I really cannot wait to return to a place where my soul really belongs. So lets all 
just keep calm. It is just two weeks away.

Though I cry with sadness. 

It is Day 32 out of the Day 365 of the year and it marks a new month. February. It belongs to Lai Wye Kei. I think before I even start blogging about her, let me just share a few photos of us both over the years.

I assumed you must have been waiting your 
21st birthday wish from me to you. I just wanna disappoint you but you would have to see my pretty face for the entire Friday this week. I just wish you Happy 21st Birthday, my dear best girl friend. 
You have been my other half when we did form six together. It amuses me always on how a Science class girl can be so close to an Arts stream class girl. But the both of us proved the theory wrong. I pretty much believe, the two of us secretly are the misfits to the society. Everyone is like the girly girl, don't eat after midnight. Take good care of themselves and all that. But the BOTH of us are really the total opposite. 
  And, I want you to know, I adore you for that.    

It amazes me how fast time flies, yet you never fail to catch up back with me whenever you are free and it always feels like good old times, once again.
 Like the both of us against the world again. Like we can just take over the world, with just the two of us and I thank you for that , from the bottom of my heart, Wye Kei. Sincerely, I thank you for everything you have ever done for me back then in those days in MBSSKL until today. Please do take a good care of yourself and get yourself a new boyfriend please. Time to hunt for one nice, good, homely, guy for yourself in KDU already. You aren't getting any younger and don't worry, I had already said yes upon being your bridesmaid, so I would just have to suck it up and bear with you. Love you long time, babe.
Once again, Happy 21st Birthday, my dear baby girl.

Raveenaa says ; 

I know. I finally cried. I lost the battle between the both of us. I hate myself for losing you. You won. I hated you when you entered my life and right now, I hate you even more for leaving. I know, you are not turning back anymore. I know, you are never coming back already at all. And this time round, I am sure of it. I am just very sure of it. If only you knew that you are the reason why I cry myself to sleep every night. If only you knew, that you are the reason why these tears stream down my cheek without fail. You 

are the only reason for the teardrops on my guitar.

It had always been you, who I wanted. It had always been you, who my heart yearns for. I want you back, you are the one I longed for. But, you are long gone now. And I have to just accept that fact and live on with it. How do I move on when the best part of me was always you? Teach me how do I carry on without you? I want you back. You always taught me to 
speak now, whenever I just silent away, so now, I am speaking up. Tell me where are you when all you ever wanted was to see me shine? I am speaking up and I am telling you and the world, that I want you back. 
I want you back so bad. I want us back for real. 

     This young heart of mine longed for you.     

  I always thought that days of love would come if  
      I hope and hope.     

Not anymore Raveenaa. Not anymore. Dream on.    Just, dream on.  

Blogged to the songs from 2 States.

Arjun Kapoor and Alia Bhatt are perfection. 

No more struggles.

You know I like you. 

I like that feeling that I get when I am with you. 

I like that feeling as if I belong to somebody.

 That I belong to you and you give me those gitters that I get in my tummy that gets me feeling this way. 

I have always loved the way your eyes whenever they looked at mine. I've always adored the way we looked at each other and I've always felt as if your eyes could actually look into my soul. People say that our eyes are the window to our soul. Is it true? But why do 

I only feel connected to you and not other people?

I have always loved the way your eyes whenever they looked at mine and I had always felt as if your eyes could look deep into my soul. People say that our eyes are the window to our soul. Is it true? Why 

do I only feel connected when it comes to you?

I

You know. Call it a dream. Call it a vision. 

I have always looked at us and wondered 

how things might work out between us. 

How would ever get things done?

 And I know, that you keep on 

insisting upon telling me that YOU are here. 

That YOU are here to stay forever and more. 

But I always let these little insecurities get to me. 
And I cannot help but to overcome them. 
Like what if we are married down the road together, YOU think I am such a boring person.
Like what if a person like you, 
can find someone so much better than ME. 

  What if you no longer find me attractive?
Like you used to.
Like maybe I am not that pretty after all?
That, I do, have flaws.
That I am NOT that perfect after all. 
That you've discovered. 
What happens then?

What if you stopped loving me? I know. 

There is just a demon inside of me and I have 

always knew that I don't deserve being happy.

 I have always knew that you, of all people, 

deserves someone better. Someone better than me. 

That with a status quo like yours, you do deserve a better standard and a better living. A better and prettier girl than me, at least. But, why do this 

heart of mine, yearns so much for you?

Like, if I were to wake up in the middle of the night, crying, would you stay the night up with me, comforting me? Or would you just sleep away? Like after years of seeing me with scars and stretch marks, would you still love them? Like as much as you love me? Or would you pack and run away? Would you ever do that to me? Pack my heart in your suitcase and just leave. Carrying all my dreams of us being together? Tarnishing every memories that we have. 

Would you?

Never felt like this before.
Are we friends? Or are we more?
As I'm walking towards the door.
 I'm not sure.

But baby if you say, you'd want me to stay,

I'll change my mind.

   I want you.   

Boy, you don't know how I really feel.

Since you've been away. Oh, baby.

Any chance that you could take my call?

You've been saying you don't wanna talk. 

But, it is cool. 

I've been thinking about you all day long. 

Hoping you pick up your phone. 

 

May, It Is You, Again.

Have you ever been so mad? Of course

everyone had been angry before in life, one

way or another, right? What I am trying to ask

you is that have you ever been so mad at somebody that you have no words to say to them? You have no mean or bad words to curse at them simply because of the love and concern you have for them? I am mad at myself, not you. 

I am mad for always being nice. I am mad for apologizing for things I didn't do. I am mad for getting attached to you. I am mad for thinking about you. But most of all, I am mad for not hating you, when 

I should. I am mad at myself, not you.

And yes, that is what I have for you.

I sincerely have no idea what is even wrong with the whole situation right now. Could you help explain a little to me? I got to grasp the whole situation in my head right now. I couldn't even understand the bigger picture. Why would you even play the hot and cold game with me? You could call me out one night and asked me to get a dinner date table. And the next thing I knew, when everything was set out on the table, you decided to just cut me off your life again.

Is this a form of punishment from you? Or is karma playing its game on us? Everyone around you came to tell me that you've been seeking around for me. You've been asking people around for me, were you? But why are your ego so high when you came to face me? Especially when it comes to things about me. What is it that the both of us cannot talk to upfront? What is it that we both cannot manage to solve? Everyone tells me that you're wonderful. I used to belive that too. I used to think that way. I thought it was true. But tonight, I am unsure of myself. I don't know what to believe. I am starting to think otherwise. I am beginning to doubt myself again.

It is like this. It works this way. You only let the boss know of your dad's passing and you expects him to be quiet about it. Of course, you knew that he would surely hunt me down and tell me about it. Well I know it is pretty disappointing and all at the very sole idea of me not having a direct phone and all. And that everyone had been trying their level best to contact me when they knew. But then again, what are social networks for then? What I don't understand is that what is with you and being so angry about it? It is not like I cut you off my life completely. You had always took a spot in my heart, and you would always be. That is the ugly truth. It is like you are always gonna have this permanent reservation in my heart. Which part of it all that don't you understand?

You knew I would always have a soft spot on things whenever it comes to you so you always took it slow. Tortured me on daily basis this way. You were indeed supposedly to be available last night. But you decided to stood me out. You stood me out for four hours. It wasn't like four minutes small matter, bro. It was freaking four hours long. Time may be alright for you to waste, but what I never did understood in this whole time was you did have the opportunity to tell me that you needed to be away for hours. That you needed time and space to be gone a while. I would have GLADLY grabbed a vampire novel and kept myself busy instead of gripping on dearly to the phone like it is my life or something, right? 

I waited and waited till I decided to give in. 

I finally deleted it off and then I settled to watch movie. My heart was beating so fast and loudly last night. My mind was racing. How would I know the fact that you would be sitting for a lecture class then? And you know what hurts the most? It was the best moment when I saw that you were available two hours ago. Tears streamed down my cheek. I am seriously speechless. I wondered what have I ever done to you that you are happily playing this tug-of-war game with me? Perhaps, you think I'm free, eh?

 Your best friend came to drag my hand away from the crowd yesterday. And the first thing he said to me that you are holding up and doing fine now. That he was worried about how would I be doing. Of course I had to put up a smile and tell him life is good and sort. But then again, I took a step back in life and wondered aloud to myself, what is life without you? Seriously. I am saying this probably because I adore, cherish and really love you as a family member. And I think that is the one part you clearly do not see at all. That you are so emotionless, heartless, feeling less and numb when it comes to matter of love. 

 

I was at home when your worker decided to drop by and came to see me last night. Despite being awaken for almost 48 hours, I managed to recognize the guy. Thank God I was decently dressed. The first thing that he asked me was that why did I decided to disappear off your life for decades and centuries. I know that you probably miss me as much as I miss you. But you seriously have no idea how much I miss you terribly. And the one thing you probably cannot understand right now is that I am busy seriously at this phase in life. Really. I am taken away by family issues and there are things I have to handle for now :(

Your worker even took the effort to told me that you saw him this morning. The first question you decided to ask him was how is she doing. And your worker was so blur thinking in his mind which "she" you were mentioning until you had to blurt out my name then only he manages to figure things out. I wondered what took you so hard to pronounce the name, Raveenaa. I wondered why you can even consider thinking making up your mind that I moved away from you. That I have changed and all that when the both of us had been talking, texting and calling plus chatting all these while. I wondered why did you said that. I wondered why you never did tell your worker that we have been keeping in touch. Probably due to the fact that you are ashamed of me? I know it had been a year long, but I don't remember even once at all that we never moved away from each other. To be honest, I had always kept you close to my heart. 

It is alright. It is okay. So don't you bother what I do. I wouldn't be okay without you but I would be alright. I would survive anyways. I have no option when being strong seems to be my one and only choice left. I would get all of these done since I've started them so I shall pass them all to your worker and get him to give it to you on my behalf. Hope you like it that way then. But up until now this moment, I can only pretty much guessed last night gave me the right answer. That I can, only come to one conclusion in the end.

That, You Have Changed. 

 

The Club Can't Even Handle Me Right Now ;

Flo. Rida feat. David Guetta. 

1 Hour 45 Minutes.

Rav ; xoxo <3