Do you still believe in one another?

Who am I to kid? I've lost you. 

I've lost you forever.

"No matter what challenges that keeps us apart, 

we'll always find a way back to each other".

Well, speak of the devil. Hello I am back. Yeps, your blogger is back after exactly two months. Well, here's one thing I would wanna tell you readers. So sorry I have been away. Seriously. I've been so busy I don't wanna talk about it. I don't feel like it. Been so moody these days about events like this and I have to just learn to let it go seriously. I have to learn that no matter what I do, it would never be good enough in her eyes. So screw it. I give up. I give in. Seriously I am done. I am done. Who am I to kid? My mood get so screwed up over tiny things and that is it. I might 

as well learn to let it go and enjoy life as it is.

"I choose to stay with him for all the things he's done right. Not for the one thing he has done wrong. 

I choose to forgive him".

I think what killed me the most would be the thought that I had earlier. That we were in this together seriously. Having all these problems and I see you walking away from me. What have I ever done to have you walk away without even turning back to catch a glimpse of look at me? What can I ever do to have you stay? You say things to me like be brave and that you think I can handle all sorts of stuffs like this alone. You always say I am the capable one. 
That I don't need you. 

Life is all about moments of impact and how they changed our lives forever. But what if one day 

you could no longer remember any of them? 

Here is a question to you. Why did you do it? Make me feel all worthy that night and then walk off the next day? You are probably the only person on planet Earth that can make me feel so unwanted. It is like you toyed with my feelings from day one. It was never love. It was never meant to be. You kid me with your friendship. I fell for all your stupid words. It sincerely hurts the most when the person who made you feel special yesterday, makes you feel so unwanted today seriously :'(  

Is this all a joke to you, seriously? :(

"How do you look at the one you love and

tell yourself it's time to walk away."

Everything that happened to my family
.
Everything that happened to my mum. My

siblings. Where were you when I needed you

most? You went crawling back to her. After

all talks, after all emotional breakdowns
,
after all late night talks, after all the time

wasted, you decided to opt for her because

she has always beaten me in the first place.

After all boys always opt for the Prom

Queen and not the girl next door, do they?

Sincerely, it is alright. I would be okay. I

promise you this. Everything to be okay.

If we were meant to be together, we would.

I wouldn't back down. And today I find

myself smiling again. I am okay. Seriously at 

the very least I am moving on. I am able to 

dance through the hallways again. I am 

happy again. I don't need you, seriously I 

don't. Don't come back with all that crap 

that you are happy for me that my life is 

perfect without you in it. Have you ever 

tried to removed a swollen tooth? My dentist 

once told me that letting go is like 

pulling a tooth. When it was pulled out, you 

were relieved, but how many times does 

your tongue run itself over the spot where 

the tooth was? Probably a hundred times a 

day. Just because it wasn't hurting you 

doesn't mean you didn't notice it. It leaves a 

gap and sometimes you see yourself missing 

it terribly. It's going to take a while, but it 

takes time. Should you have kept the tooth? 

No, because it was causing you too much 

pain. Therefore, move on and let go.

 It's not fair? I see the way you look at her. 
I know, because you used to look at me that way.
I am pretty excited because I've got these birthday presents planning going on again after two years not meeting him. So wish me luck. Next blog post is going to be about all of it. So glad that I have got things going on again. You peeps must have no idea how much I miss this guy right here, right now. 
But he's always in my heart thou.

I read this novel almost five years ago in school and I remembered crying for almost two nights in high school because Cecelia Ahern is so perfect describing a husband who died cause of brain tumor yet he actually planned ahead to write love letters to his wife day by day to help her move on in life. 

I fell in love with the movie, probably because Gerard Butler starred in it. So I rate this 8/10 <3 Because the movie was that perfect seriously <3 My favourite scene in the whole movie would definitely be the starting part. This scene, the waking up part <3

Purple line quotes are fully inspired by the movie, The Vow. Been rewatching so many movies these days. Super proud. That is all for now! 

Till' next time! 

Anyeonggg! :)

#Nowplaying

Back From The Dead ;

Skylar Grey <3

Those Days Are Gone, Now They're Memories On The Wall.

Checklist? Found? But then, I lost you again. 

Let it go Rav. Let it go. Stop messing with your head and just for once, live for yourself. Why bother? When at the end of the day, you're just another girl to him. Another girl he'll forget. Come on. You are so much stronger than this. You are! Hold your head up high and walk the walk. Because in the end, when everything is meant to be broken, there is nothing you can really do about it. Stop all these. Stop wasting your time. Stop being a sad case. 

Dear Raveenaa! Whatever that is done is done babe. He is happy now and that is all you have ever wanted and for once, you think he did cared? No. You think you meant something to him? No. You were NOTHING to him. Kill them fantasies away. Look at you. You are young. You are scared. Why are you so sacred? Stop being so paralyzed. Stop swallowing those words. I used to think that maybe you are different from the rest. No, you proved me wrong. I lost. I lost the game and I loathe you. Remember this very exact moment Rav. You're broken. You need time. So much time had been wasted but all you need is to heal and to get better. Trust me on this, everything and everyone would remind you of this. Of this memory and this miserable feeling would hit you once again and you know you would fall. Remember this ; 

YOU HAVE PRIORITIES. SET YOUR PRIORITIES RIGHT! WORK HARD. WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH THERE! And tell yourself ; in the end, It would be fine. Everything is going to work out and you are going to look back at all these. Remember what daddy said? In the end, everything is gonna work out just fine cause if it doesn't ; it is not the end :'] 

THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR WALKING OUT OF MY LIFE JUST WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST BECAUSE YOU PROVED ME THAT I AM NOT WORTH IT :/ REMEMBER YOUR PROMISE RAV. JUST. HANG. IN. THERE.

"DADDY AND MUMMY, 

I AM GONNA MAKE YOU PROUD ONE DAY".

YOU'RE WORTH IT. REMEMBER THAT.

SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO SHUT PEOPLE OUT OF OUR LIVES, NOT BECAUSE WE WANT TO, BUT BECAUSE THEY HURT US SO MUCH, WE HAVE TO.

-SAFE HAVEN-

I WON'T GIVE UP ON US? I LOST. I LOST THE FIGHT. I CRUMBLED AND I LOST YOU. I GAVE IN. YOU WIN. YOU BROKE ME. YOU LEFT. YOU WALKED. GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO DO THIS. GIVE ME THE HEART TO HOLD MYSELF TOGETHER. COME ON RAV, YOU CAN DO THIS. GET A GRIP OF LIFE AND HOLD YOURSELF TOGETHER. I GUESS EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT BUT IT IS GOD DARN TIME TO MOVE ON, SO AGAIN, I AM ALL STRONGER BY MYSELF I SUPPOSE? SIGHS. PROVE THEM ALL WRONG, RAVEENAA. 

Just finished Semester Three exams two days ago. It is a sad and gloomy Saturday. Been raining for the whole day so decided to glue my ass in front of the desktop and blog cause it had been a while. Been too long thou. Literally eight days left to my final paper, Microeconomics on 25th Nov and I'll be a free birdie :]CAN'T WAIT! :]

Lay Low ;

Blake Shelton stuck on Replay today :'] 

#Country

Hallucinate. Graduating.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you're down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend hold your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and 

complete because you need not worry.

 You have a forever friend, and forever has no end.

Lets face it, we've changed, we've all changed. Somewhere between summer ending and school starting, we've all gone our own directions. Hearts were broken, friendships were diminished, and new loves started and new people came into our lives. We no longer spend all of our time together in our circle of friends; we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. Some of us are finding love while some of us are trying to let go. Even though we've changed we all know that even though we are all finding our own place in the world that when we find love, let go of a love, or when the tears fall, or a smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us and no matter what happens nothing will change so much that we are all not friends forever.

Look, I am sorry. 

I am sorry for bothering you. I am sorry for all the texts I send you. I am sorry for talking to you the second you get online. I am sorry I keep asking if you're free to hang out. I am sorry I ask random questions. I am sorry that I ask about your life. I am sorry that I'm a bother to you. I am sorry that I always recite all those silly friendship quotes. But here's the truth. I am not sorry for any of those things ; I only did it because you are my friend. What I am really sorry for is that you don't realize how much our friendship means to me. I am sorry that I have a deep worry that this friendship won't last much longer. I am sorry I wanted to talk to you. I am sorry I wanted to get your opinions and advice on things. I am sorry I wanted to hang out with you. I just thought that is what friends did. I am sorry I was willing to do anything to get your attention. I didn't know being friends was too much to ask from you. I am sorry that I am now left with only memories of what used to be. Please do me one favor, when you see the tears gently falling down my cheeks, don't try to comfort me. I don't need a reminder of how I could always tell you everything, how you'd sit by me and just hold me while I cried. So please, if this is over, then lets just say our goodbyes and walk away and not look back, because I cant believe that a friendship I once held so dear to my heart is now fading to nothing. 

Now that is really what I am sorry for.

I miss you.

I miss the words you used to say. I miss the way you used to greet me in the hallways with that smile, and I would just blush and walk away.

I miss the texts you used to send me, making me smile, and making my life a little bit more happier.

You knew everything about me. It was just so easy to tell you everything, without getting judged.

I miss the nicknames, the sayings we had , and all the small little things you would do.

You always made me laugh, smile, and love you even more. You always knew when i was mad, upset or sad, and were always there. 

I miss the compliments, the facebook obsessions, but most of all, I miss the, "I love you."

I miss the advice. I could talk to you about anything, anywhere, anytime. We were so close.

I miss hanging out with you. I even miss the small things I used to hate about you. 

You told me you would never leave, we would always be best friends, and that you could never replace me. 

.. yeah well, you lied.

To be honest with you, I don't have the words to make you feel better, but I do have the arms to give you a hug, ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about, and I have a heart; a heart that's aching to see you smile again.

Maybe not all friendships have to be saved. 

Maybe we're just meant to spend a certain part of our lives with certain people and then move on :'X

-Raveenaa-

9 DAYS TO LEAVING SCHOOL. LETS DO THIS FREAKOS <3

LETS PUT UP A KILLER GRADUATION SPEECH RAV :]