Sunday, May 22, 2016

Pre-Marriage Courses? Yay or Nay?

     A month later.     
"Wise man says, only fools rush in, but I can't help, from falling in love, with you," that was what the famous King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley, sang his way through to all the young girls heart. I love you, you love me, we are happy family, lets get married and live happily ever after It is such a cliche move that upon attaining a certain age, it becomes the typical Asian mindset to actually get married and settle down. However, recently a study shown that 
in every four days, there is a couple who seeks for divorce. Couples who once claims to be in love, now wants to part ways for life. It was suggested that perhaps rushing into a marriage without consoling 
a proper counselor might be one of the many reasons that the divorce rate is spiking high. However, I am in the opinion to say that no that all couples should not attend pre-marriage courses before getting married. In this piece, I would show there reasons, namely, couples can solve their own personal matters by themselves, that attending this pre-marriage course is a waste of money and lastly, the rightful people 
to turn to for help, is none other than your family.
First and foremost, it should be made clear that just because we want to curb the issues of spiking roof top high divorce rate cases, that we should then make this pre-marriage course a compulsary thing, is indeed absurd. It takes any reasonable man to realize that a couple only chooses to be married once they are ready to step into the marriage phase. If an adult could make that decision, I believe it is only right to say that you can already think for yourself. It is only fair to say that you are an independent, matured and working adult who can support yourself. If an adult could help? A person who could utter the word "I do" and to be legally and lawfully married is impliedly, showing that they are ready to spend the next phase of their life with their other half. That they are able to face the world and problems together, how is attending pre-marriage course is said to be able to aid at all! Couples should learn how to work their problems out and communicate instead of putting themselves through some session which requires money and this brings me to my next point. 
In this scenarios, attending pre-marriage courses is a waste of money. Picture this in your head, a bride who wants to be married, has to worry of her wedding dress, her bridemaids, food caterers, accomodations for her guests and etc. Asking her and the groom to attend a pre-marriage prior before the wedding is just a little too much. It shall be note that weddings involves a lot of expenses as well, From the food to the booking of the wedding halls to the monies, everything requires the bride and the groom to be on a super tight budget, well, unless they are from a wealthy family. But what if they are not? What happens then? How are couples who are going to be married dare think of their honeymoon even after the wedding if they are going to already spend so much prior to the big day My point is, a couple who wants to be married do not have the time nor the money to attend this pre-maritial courses as it is not only a plain waste of time but also financially burdening to those who do not come from a wealthy background. Hence,  am in the view of saying no to the 
pre-marriage courses as my next point will 
involve people closest to us on planet Earth.
Besides that, let us here be honest, a marriage counselor who are supposed to advice you on your pre-marriage course is none other than a complete stranger. The process involves you walking into the centre with your partner wanting to sign up for this course is utterly insane, if you ask me. The only rightful mind of people who one should seek before getting married, is none other than your own parents future-in-laws. Here, you would not only promote a better relationship, but you also help make the family closer to one another as all of you would be more bonded then. Parents and your in-laws would be glad to give you tips in building a new family together with your partner. There would be no other person who would know you better on planet Earth, besides your parents. My only question is, why would you want seek help from a third party, who bear in mind, that person do not know you or of your existence nor your past or even your future planning upon building a family. How is that stranger supposed advice you then? My only concern making pre-marriage courses compulsary is the fact that why would you want to attend a course conducted by an outsider when you can have someone close to you at heart to advice you in the first place. Don't you think that it is 
just too much of a hassle?
In conclusion, people get married everyday, at every second that the clock ticks. At the very same scenario, people obtains divorce very quickly too. It should be always a reminder that people get divorce when the relationship had already turned sour and that, there is nothing that you and I could do about it. Suggesting a pre-marriage course is definitely an absurd one as we must always remember that couples who wants to be eternally bounded for life should be allowed to make mistakes and to sort things out. Forcing them into a pre-marriage course which might even reveal all the harsh truth about marriage life is a bad idea. What if after attending the pre-marriage course, the couples changed their minds then? Who should be held liable then? Finally, I am firm and I stand by my opinion that pre-marriage courses is not an essestial as what guarentees do we have that it could help overcome divorce rates? No, right? Therefore, think about it, would you?
Thank you!

2 comments:

  1. I think you're misunderstanding the point of marriage counseling. The idea isn't to "force" anyone into doing something they're uncomfortable with. Instead, the idea is to give people the best chance at creating a bond that will last a lifetime. Wouldn't you want to use all of the tools you have to ensure that you and your partner were perfect?

    Eli Broome @ The Relation Foundation

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