You're stuck to such an Indifference.

This would be a post of one of my many 

rantings at three am on a weekday. 

No jokes, 

I couldn't sleep so here I am writing something up.

It has been so weird. I used to be able to sit in front of a laptop and type out whatever ; whenever my heart is a mess and I would always be able to pour out everything that would have been bugging me.

Funny, it is the holidays and unlike many others, 

I only had 28 days of rest which I am totally wasting trust me. Nothing has been done so far and I am so sick to even think about things I am supposed to do.

I've been speaking to amma about it. 

That it had been bothering me. That, I should 

pull myself together and restart, but then again, 

I keep telling her that it is swallowing me inside out.

I keep assuring myself that it would be okay. That everything would eventually fall into place. That all 

is well. That I should have faith and move forward. 

As hard as it is to believe this, I feel things I am doing at home is even more difficult for me than to face these people and sort them out in uni itself. Why am 

I even more caught up at home rather than in school?

There is so much that I am supposed to do. There is just so much that I HAVE to do, yet I am stalling, all of it. For more time. For more of what, I don't know. 

People around me think that I should trust you, but is it me or is it my "inner voices" who had been telling me that I should think twice when it comes to you. 

I've opened up too much to you, I've never opened up this much to anyone before. But there's just something about you that secretly tells me ; 

that I need to find out what. 

And you asked me what I think about love. 

Well, like the movie Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, in their song Kabira, remember the part where Deepika would walk down with her best friend, the bride, down the aisle, towards the bridal beds, that was the EXACT same moments that Ranbir looked up and saw her, and he KNEW, he knew that in that instance, that is in LOVE, that he is in LOVE with her and that he shouldn't let her go :) That, my friend, to me, is love.

You've been rewatching our movies again, perhaps hers, for all I care, well who am I joking, I am right? Well obviously, or else, what am I doing here? Raveenaa enough. Enough is enough. 

I'mma call it a night. That's about it. Sorry, as always. For the late night spams.