I am only One Call Away ;

Back after a week. I usually have a topic 
in my mind as to what I want to say or write up.

But it is such a shame for this post, because I would want to write up about things that has been bothering me lately. I have no idea where would this post head or how it may end, but I guess I need to say it off.

Oh, won't you stay with me? Cause you're all I need. People say love is clear to see, but darling, stay with me. Just bear with me throughout this post okay.

And through this blog roll, 
I wish to write a letter and I would do it, my style. 

Dear You,

I wish you know that I am writing this to you. I wish you know how much you put me through. A year ago, the old me, would have come running when you called. But last night, when your text came in, and you told me that you needed me, I did not know how to hit the button reply. When you called me up to ask how am I doing when all your final intentions were 
to seek help from me, I couldn't be any more numb.

And it was suddenly all clear that this was all a game for you. That this was something you are so good 
at and I was just falling in to this trap. Cousin? 
Blood relation? You were going to use that on me? 

Irony when would rush to your side when you are in trouble but you wouldn't even bother picking up the phone to call or text a birthday text because
 you think you are a hell of a great. You think that everyone has to be a stuck up to you. You've always thought that people have to please you to live.

And here I am, to do the other. I'll love deeper, 
I'll give forgiveness, and I'll show you, how to live.

Then, there came YOU.

There came another YOU.

Who I've spilled so much effort, so much time, trying to be your friend. Trying to be as normal as I could. Trying to fit in like the way that you do.
 I honestly cannot be someone who I am not.

I cannot be someone you expect me to be. 

     How?     

            Really?