Relationships or Realizationship?

And there goes the saying,

life, after all, is not a bed of roses.

I fell asleep last night, sorry, I mean to say, I fell asleep last morning considering the fact that I was out. And I have come to a realization that maybe, there are really some inconsiderate people on planet Earth after all.

So the story goes like this. I was already flatten on bed when I was already prepared to tuck myself to sleep when my phone buzzed and I saw a text asking two questions on screen. And the questions are as follows.

1. Raveenaa, why don't you have a boyfriend just yet? 

2. And how come you've never thought about 

settling for someone at this age?

I could have sworn that the moment I saw the text,

I flipped. 

Oh, I flipped real good when I have really had troubles sleeping these days and people sent texts like these.

First and foremost, here is what I have got to say. It is so inconsiderate of people to actually text me at that hour knowing for a sole fact that I, as a person, think a lot. And I simply do mean it. As a regular, reasonable person, I am a normal, typical growing person who think so much and it sucks because when texts like these caused a stir in my head, it just makes it 

harder for a person like me to fall asleep.

The main question as to why I have never had the thought of getting a boyfriend? Well, who am I gonna lie to? Of course, I've had thought about settling down for someone. Someone who truly cares deep down for me still would come to comfort me. Someone who I can call at three in the morning when I have had 

a bad nightmare. And there it goes with the judgemental gangs to ask, why do you 'demand' 

so much in life? Well maybe I do. Or maybe I don't. 

You see, a person like you may settle for a boyfriend and call it off just within a day. But the way I look at things, I date to marry. Yes, call me old fashioned, call me typical. But maybe, just maybe, I care more about the way other people that surrounds me would feel.Honestly, it is all fair in love and war. That's what she said. But come to think about it, it is never fair in love. When you have finally settled in for someone, you do have to take care about how the other party feels. 

Of course it is amazing that you have another half whom you can brag or speak about to any other person. But then again, I never really truly see the point upon dating someone who solemnly makes you cry 

all the time. You fight. You argue.

What is the necessity in all these? 

Well, many of the people I know. 

Well, mostly actually and I personally think, that the next few statements I am bound to make is going to hurt a few parties but I am going to say it nevertheless. 

Of course it is all great and all that you are going out on high class dates and that you get each other expensive gifts. But when you truly sit and think about it through your head, those money in your bank account, aren't even yours to even begin with. And for what purpose, do you even have the rights to use your parents money to make another person, who, I stress, who isn't

 even blood related to you in the first place?

I guess that statement came out a little too bold 

but think about it. What's the point of being in a relationship that makes you so unhappy and the one fact that you and I cannot even come to deny, 

that when you fall sick, the person you turn to look after you at the end of the day would be your parents 

to bring you to the clinic and to tuck you in bed. 

Maybe, that just shows signs that you aren't even 

ready to be in a relationship. I know I am not. 

However, I cannot deny as well that every relationship like any other friendship, has got its perks and quirks as well. And I am happy for people who have 

actually found their soulmate for the rest of their life. 

It is fortunate to have someone at the end of each tiring day, to talk to. To look forward to something and to meet each other family. I guess, I just have a different perception about love, after all. I really just want to graduate and then work and when I am financially independent and capable of supporting myself, then only I would think about this. I don't believe upon people who come to me to claim that after their first part time time job pay comes in, they used the salary 

to spend it on their other half or ended up 

using everything up on their own. 

Please do knock some sense into yourself and maybe, all that I am asking you is to bring your old man and lady out for tea. It isn't anything huge but do trust me on this that it would mean so much to not only yourself but also to them. Maybe, your parents do deserve 

so much more than you could think yourself. A lot of people, have come to see my mum telling her of how worried they are simply because I seemed to be doing just fine growing up without any man in my 21st life already itself. Well, I don't. Coming to a realization that my dad is no longer around, maybe, my mum became my topmost priority. And that maybe, if I cannot find a person who can love her as much as I do, then maybe, you are not even deem to suit me in the first place. 

Looking at it from my perspective, so what if I am 21 today and still have not found my significant half? So what if I would be 41 someday and still be single? 

At least, I do know that I try my level best daily 

to make myself live life to the fullest. Well, to people who changes boyfriend as if they change clothes, maybe, just maybe, you might want to 

reconsider your stand on love again. 

"Cause, I don't do relationships", 

would always be the answer of mine to the second question whenever human beings come close to stab my soul by asking things like why I have never thought about settling down for somebody. Well, the answer is obvious enough I guess that I have not met The One yet. This is life, no matter how hard I tries to deny it, 

I just haven't found another soul to understand this dark soul of mine. And maybe when I have found another person to adore and love me the way I am, 

I would be different. Coming to think about it, I think, generally, people do not even 'know' me in the first place, let alone to actually 'understand' me. Of course, 

I have got lovey dovey texts and love letters and gifts and coffee, but maybe, just maybe, I do think these people deserve better people than me. When I can't even seem to keep myself contended and people 

around me happy, how do I make another soul feel 

love and okay and secured about me and myself?

It is true as to what people always say about me, 

that someday, one way or another,

 these insecurities is bound to kill me.

Trust me, when I tell you that you don't even know me if you claim that you have known me for years. Really. You sure as hell have not even seen this side of me that I wish not to show you OR this side of me that I showed you that I shouldn't have. Really. You don't truly know someone until you step in their shoes and walk through life from their hawk eyes but I'll tell you this for sure, you don't really know me, if you have not sat through a heart to heart talk with me at three in 

the morning, talking. Now, it just seems creepy right, knowing me, that maybe, you just don't know me 

well enough to claim that you understand me.  

Before I end this blog post considering the fact that I blogged this on a phone and in a bus, I am not going to deny that, maybe, relationship do more good than harm? Or maybe, it do more damages than good? That's the thing you'll never know. Guys, work hard for your family beginning today. So, in the future, your future wife and family wouldn't have to suffer so much. Girls, work hard too. Not for your husband, but for yourself and your children someday. You know human, after all, when change of heart happens, guy leaves girl and vice versa. At the end of the day, touch your heart and ask yourself, what do you want in the end? 

Are you working towards it now?

Bae, I want this for my 21st birthday gift, get it for me.
Whoever that is reading this at this hour, anyways. 

Please, excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, 

but tonight, I'm loving you.