Stuck On Stupid.

People change, feelings fade, heart broken, friends leave, friends become enemies, lovers become strangers, you’ll be judged, life goes on.  I ran after you when you walked out on me. I saw you walked off with my own pair of eyes.There are too much things to tell you. Why did I let you walk off me? Why didn't I just hug you? It was our last day of the year together and I just watch you leave. When reality hit me and I ran after you, you were long gone. It will be always her the person you love. I am just stuck on you baby. Stuck on stupid. I wanna tell you how much you mean to me. I want to tell you the world you impact me of. Am I crazy? Am I foolish? Boy, I lose it everytime. Just a little into you, that's for sure. You got me stuck on stupid for you. But your personality are the ones that captivated me in you. You know I'll die trying. Stupid things I do, I do it for you.

Hello stalkers. So sorry that I've put my blog on idle tho. Anyways, have you ever looked at someone and thank God that you have finally found that person? I mean, not in the sense that you love him or whatsoever and I don't mean that you are grateful that you have finally found The One. No, just not that way. What I meant is that have you ever looked beneath someone's eyes and be able to look into his soul and you could actually read his mind? That you could actually know exactly what is he feeling right that moment and that you know that you could trust him with your world? Yes, I have found him. Yet how could some things felt so good yet so hurt at the same time? How do I actually put these into words? :'(

So, what have I been into lately? Shopping. Hell yeah. I blogged about the first round with Celia and Sarah right? So, these were what I got from the second round of shop with Sabrina. Fingers crossed. Really hope that she wouldn't be reading this cause she would actually kill me for posting her picture up when I promised her not to. Anyways, I swear I must freaked her out cause I keep buying things I love and hun, I hate Peter Pan collar. I just can't stop buying and she must have shook her head cause she was so surprised tho. You guys might have not know this, but one of the main reason why am I in MBS is cause of this beautiful girl here. I still remember days in CBN when the both of us were stuck together. She and I decided we are attending MBS together :D What I wanna tell her is that I'm so sorry for not spending time with her and I've been so busy. But it felt so great after spending that shopping session with her cause I treated her Chatime and got the chance to sit down with her and talk things out. Update both our lives. Sometimes, it felt super great to tell someone who isn't facing the same exact thing what I am going through cause they advice you best. I adore her. Whilst shopping, I was worried cause at one point, I felt all the clothes I got was a lil' slutty and I felt so terrible. She looked into my face and tell me to say this five letters. I.D.G.A.F. Which is so true cause don't give a fook of what people wanna comment about you cause at the end of the day, what matters is your happiness and if people out there is gonna judge you based on what you wear then they are not worth of you. I forced her into a selca! :) Super sorry we look horrible. We were tired okay? There you go ; 

So I presume you guess that was it? No, I went for third round Chinese New Year (CNY) shopping with Shyam and Loshini. Pictures of the day and camwhores. We had Wendy's for lunch :) I bought Shyam lunch :) Yay cause he drove me from school to Times Square. He even fetch me home. So yeah :) All pictures are captured using Shyam's Samsung Galaxy 3. Yes, that guy is freaking rich and he's my deskmate this year :) He loves me a lot so he calls me beetch and not by my name and I heart him tho :D Of by the way bro! I collected your XS size Typical Malaysia tee ;) I captured a picture of it and I was so proud that mine is in red and it fits perfectly tho :) I paid for you as well. So claim yours from me next Tuesday, okay?

 Things Shyam and I bought. Such shopaholics tho. Should probably hang with him again just to shop. 

I'll be going out with Sarah again for the fourth round tomorrow in Kenanga City Mall and the Pavillion tho. Anyways, would be painting the town in neon tomorrow. So eager to wear this tomorrow. Might be watching MAMA and I'm freaking out cause I have no guts to watch movies like that and it felt like years since I last saw a film like those tho.

Hello, I have a good question and trust me. It is a good one. Why do we take people in our life for granted? I mean it. I mean, why do we humans never try to appreciate people when they're around and actually be nice to them. I mean, take me as an example. I've always love daddy. I mean, I was always his number one and being the only daughter at home is amazing. The ideal fact that I'm the apple to his eyes are just breathtaking.What I meant is that I'm such a rebel daughter. I never listen to him. Yet I yell at him and trust me, growing up in an Indian family is amazing especially if you are a baby girl. The idea that he always gives me stuffs I want and buy me things I need, yet I've never say a single thank you to him. Daddy always fetch me to school and back from school everyday tho. It has always occurred to me that it was his duty to do so but I never look from other people's angel that I am this god damned lucky to have such an amazing dad. For giving me present every single year without fail and for laughing at all my choices and say I have really weird taste. My dad's amazing. I mean, despite failing him to obtain straight Aces in SPM, he could even congratulate me and hugged me so hard and tell me in my face that he is proud of me. He ensures I have my meals right on time and was always there to bring me round town and every single fucking month would get extra allowance from him just to get novels and now not having me around sucks cause I don't get all these love anymore. Trust me, if I could trade all these, I would dad.      I would do anything just to get you back.

You know my name ; not my story.

It is so funny how I am not suppose to think of my dad and let me go in peace yet I believe he would be reborn. I just wanna let my dad know that I miss him tremendously and that I seem to stop breathing properly ever since he left. I hate myself. Really I do. How can I be so immature back then? Thinking of what to wear on Valentine's yet I should have spent every single holiday I have with family and not only know how to go out every single time. It sucks dad. It does. For seeing this part of world you have always meant. People judging you based on how you look and not who you are inside. Dearest you who gave me a phone call and totally ruined my night yesterday, really? That is what I get after spending so much time with you? I always seem to make time to talk to you on Facebook whether it is text. Talk about guys you adore. I even went to the extend of bringing you out, buying you Chatime which bear deep in you that I've never done that with any other juniors yet you came out with that statement. I mean, think of it from my side, is it fair for me to be taking shits from you anymore? No I don't. Truthfully, I am just sick of meeting people. I mean, if this is what life is about then I truly just wanna disclose life ever. I just don't wanna hang out anymore. I just don't wanna go out anymore. I just don't want things to do with you anymore. Cause plainly I hate myself and I hate you even more. I just wanna avoid you. Honestly speaking, I couldn't believe that statement came from you. You of all people :) Thanks a lot tho. I now know what I meant in your heart. If you are gonna judge a person based on how he/she looks, then kindly move the fook off my line and my face cause' I really just ain't interested tho.

Drop by Wong Si Nai in Pudu the other day with a lovely for lunch :) We both had butter cream chicken rice. These was our drinks. Umm, left was One Night Stand and the one on the right is Cheated Love was it? We both even left a note before we leave. Anyways, I had a great time. It was suppose to be a 30 minutes lunch. Eat then off and as usual. Things with him don't end up just ends up at 30 minutes do they? :) We ended up sitting and eating for two fooking hours! :) I forced him into accompanying me to go Pudu Plaza to stitch my new emblem on my blazer. I was so happy cause I had an amazing day playing in the rain :) I pitied him cause I think all his books we wet? :) Okay, what happened in the train was? :) Gosh, come see me and I'll tell you :) I don't wanna blog about it. Perhaps I should keep it as a besties dirty little secret? :) HAHAHAHA! 

Dearest everyone who is reading this. How do I tell you that I don't even know myself anymore? I don't know. I feel so crappish these days. I felt like I've been treating people giberrishly. I hate this new me and I really don't know what is wrong with me tho. I mean, mixed emotions like no one's business and I feel like breaking down every single time. How do you smile to a camera when you are breaking down inside and you have every rights to do it? How can a person who meant so much to you this time last year can be strangers with you and the person who meant the least to you last year became the world to you,today? How can time change you? How come time change me? How about time change us? Lunch with him was amazing and then I left for Leisure Mall to watch Hansel and Gretel. 

Don't you get it? Seriously? I can't feel that, It is sweet and everything, but it is like you are not even there sometimes. It is great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when I don't need a shoulder? What happenes if I just need your hug or something like that? You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things. Like take their hands when the slow songs comes up for a change. You are just missing out the point. Exactly. The point is I think you were great. It is just that I don't want to just be somebody's crush. If you like me, I want you to like THE REAL ME and not what you think I am. The worst part is that I AM ONLY ME, WHEN I AM WITH YOU. And I don't want you to be carrying this feeling around inside you. I want you to show me. I want you to fight for me. I want to be able to see it. And mostly, I want to be able to FEEL it. I want you to be able to do whatever you want around me. And if you ever do something I don't lie,

I want to be able TO TELL YOU.

Page 212 ♥

WE WERE JUST THERE TOGETHER ♥

AND THAT WAS ENOUGH ♥

 This book got me crying I swear 

I can't even breathe properly ♥

 We accept the love that we think we deserve. Stephen Chbosky.

 It wasn't the best quote by him. I find WE ARE INFINITE is nicer tho.

Anyways, I forgot how much I was into reading until I stumbled upon this book. I have never read a book and was so into it after Night World series tho. I swear I rate this book 10/10. Doubt I would even wanna watch the movie cause' I swear some movies just spoils the entire thing tho. Anyways, why am I back again? To tell you how my week went. Mmhmm. Okay, where do I begin? Alright,let me start by telling you I AM NOT BIAS. I am not okay? There isn't any emotional feelings nor attachments there. I just treat everyone equally yeah :) TRUST ME! Seriously, it hurts when kids start comparing that I love him even more than anybody else. Come on guys. Seriously? The idea of you guys talking was as if we're even together. 

E-X-A-C-T-L-Y?
We're just best friends and I love him. I mean, he listens to all my god damned complains and stuffs. Every slightest thing all the way to the major issues. How can I not adore him? For being there when I needed him. Forever and always. Plus, never get us wrong. I mean, we're close. That's all. There's nothing there. I mean, he's just a best friend that's all. Maybe we're into our friendship. I mean, I'm just in love with that friendship that's it. The idea of always being there for me and letting me know everything would be okay in the end ; touched my heart. Trust me, no one does it better than him. I can't believe how mean I can get by comparing him to this other kid at school. Okay, you get me jealous all the time okay. Like seriously. I hate the idea of her hugging you okay. Seriously. And I don't get hugs from you. Ugh. Who's the closer one to you? Me or her? Fine, hahaha. Big deal. I hug this other kid loh, not you. I don't know what's wrong with her. Whatever lah!
Next on my waiting list to be read tho :D 

He's leaving the school and it amazes me how much things could have changed in such a short period. For signing my orientation paper, I thank you. Gosh, I'll never forget you and those smile tho. I swear you always makes me laugh whenever it comes to me stressing out. I still remember when we sat down and talked about CIC classes. I adore you and every single bit of you. Honestly, I can;t even believe that you're leaving but I wish you well and I wish you luck there. Gosh, you made me higher! Thanks for the hug the other day. You made me feel like crying :X Funny how people impact my life tho I've never know you long, you taught me how to be an elder sister. The thought of letting you go sucks.         I'll miss you tremendously :')

Tea time earlier this week with Aunt Hua and kor! 
Wong Kok Char Teng ; Leisure Mall :)

I've been seeking high and low for an Eiffel Tower necklace. Anyone has any idea where can I get them? I need them desperately tho.

How do you look at the guy you love and tell him it is time to go? How do I tell you that it is so hard seeing you with somebody else? How do I let you know that you meant the world to me and how do I ever tell you that it is so hard to breathe when I see you with someone else? How do I? </3

The sun goes down. The star comes up. And all that counts ; is here and now. My universe would never be the same. I'm glad you came. 

So Glad You Came ♥

Dearest you ; this was the surprise I got you :)
Have a great Sunday tho. You made me smile this morning ; so don't let things get to you yeah? :) 

When I was young, like most kids,

I have always wanted to be a superhero.

Of course, I’m not that child anymore. What I’ve learned while growing up is that when you are a kid, you don’t worry about what others think of your ideas.

Your dreams have no boundaries.

But as we are looking forward our future, I’m not sure it matters what we want to be but rather who we want to be?

Someone honest or deceitful? Someone kind or cruel?

Someone loyal or faithful?

And I chose to always be loyal to myself  ♥ 

We accept the love that we think we deserve, don’t we? 

  

Royal Blood ;

Ellen Schreiber~

Love Always ; Raveenaa :)