Sohneya, Sohneya...

It's been a week.

It's been a week you've returned back to work and to ship, 

and I am writing this reminiscing that a week ago, I was holding to my phone for dear life knowing you had boarded the flight leaving the country. 

There were so many unsaid words after the Batu Caves date but I thought 

I should write them down. Cause even if one day if I were to have amnesia, it is these words of mine that will remind me of how much I feel for you. Remind me about our story on nyaalum paalum (this debate I hold on first).

That Tuesday evening, you called me and told me that you've been called to report back to ship and in all honesty, I teared so much. I cried because 

I didn't expect 3 months to fly this quickly when you're with me. Never realize how much time I've took for granted till you had to leave again.

That Tuesday night you texted me saying you have a favour to ask and you asked if I was working tomorrow. I immediately called in to take an annual leave because knowing if I had been honest, you would have not let me see you before leaving. I almost cursed myself cause office damn busy.

That Wednesday morning I showered and put on my laziest sweater, 

drove 19 km to go see you. That morning, there you were. I don't 

want to go into details because these were memories I should hold on to. 

When I saw you walking out of that station, my heart skipped so much and we drove in that cold Wednesday morning towards the clinic. You wanted me to leave right after that, you refuse to have me stay with you despite knowing how much my eyes pleaded. After much debates in the car, 

I almost give up and said up to you only then you agreed and told me to park and come get you *who even fights with me*. We sat near Masjid Jamek Square and you taught me everything you remembered and knew. 

At that point, I just wanted to lean in and speak to you in languages that you could understand. But I witheld myself because I knew, I kept reminding myself that this isn't going anywhere. That you are just a boy from North who thinks KL girl is too much for you. *this is me smiling*

We did the medical check and proceeded to the office. That was when it annoyed you about everything. You get so angry about the tiniest of things and I laughed it off. I laughed so much at it, and that was when I realized. 

You and I have so much in common, you're such a comedy piece. 

That one moment when we had to wait for good two hours because that office hasn't registered you in, I had this quick momentous time that we had as I was seated and you bought me my tea. My morning tea otherwise my soul will not be rested. You placed the hot tea before me and watched as 

I slowly sipped on them. Where had you been my whole life, really? 

You have no idea how much I adore you then as I watched you with my quiet eyes. We went up again but only to be declined once again. That was when I told you, lets make our way to the post office. As I was busy choosing my newly wanted philately stamps. You watched and came in and wanted to pay for my stuffs again. Knowing how much this guilt will kill you one day, I refused but your face changed. I know you felt guilty, I know how much you appreciate me going through this distance for you, but I need you to also know that I go through this distance for people that I care. 

I later went down for coffee and you went to your morning talk. While reading and drinking coffee, red flag alert since this is my second sweet cup already of the day and it wasn't even afternoon yet. I sat quietly and was planning if I could take you to Connaught night market that was when my phone bleeped and I saw the air plane ticket leaving Malaysia.

My heart sank a little. 

I tried to remain calm and kept my composure when you came down. 

We drove to Seri Pacific Hotel to help you check in and by then, it was already noon and we were both already so hungry. There was this brief moment where I leaned in on your shoulder and you just held me for that bliss 3 minutes before we pulled back and went off for lunch.

You will never know how much that ever meant to me because 

I think deep down, I would always be this younger sister to you. 

We went to take away for lunch because you were already not feeling so good and wanted to head back to nap. I drove back for nap and wanted to see you so badly for dinner. Raveenaa, don't try so hard for people. 

That two hours drive from home to you, I kept reminding myself that 

I WOULD NOT CRY. That I will be this big girl who handles herself and pull herself together. I reached over and you were so occupied with your cousin brother. I was so torn not wanting to let you go. I wanted to drive you to 

Mid Valley but because I only had 2 hours with you as the agent had to pick you up at 9 pm to the airport, I decided to change location to Sogo. 

Again, I had the chance to show you where I worked previously around Sentul. I showed you were Tasty Banana Leaf is and where Desi Chapati. 

I wasn't able to show you where the Court is, but one day, I will. 

We went around Sogo getting the very last minute things you needed before boarding time. We went to have dinner together and that was 

when it hit me. That this might be the last dinner we'll ever have together. 

I remembered that night we ate and laughed away. 

We laughed from our crazy date stories to our families to the fact that 

I promising to be married at 28. It was such an amazing dinner night. 

We cleaned and left the table. I remembered before leaving that night, 

we went to get snicker bars and you refused to let me wait with you. 

You wanted me to be home. The drive from Sogo back to your hotel was the worse because we both drove in silence. When we arrived, my heart broke into the millionth of pieces you can ever think of. But this is you, hugging me as you bid your goodbyes. I was already in tears when the peck at the cheek happened. I said my goodbye cause you were already running late. I came home that night and cried so much like a small girl who didn't get her lollipop. I cannot believe this is happening again. This is exactly like last January where I let you go without telling you how I feel.

Here I am promising myself that I will let you know, the next time I see you. 

; Arijit Singh x Atif Aslam