Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Dear Stranger, You are Lovely.

This post was drafted in Ipoh 
where nothing would ever make sense than they ever will. I am 4 days away from resigning from my current job and I sat cross legged in a Starbucks sipping on my new found favourite flavoured Triple Mocha Frappucino, fully convincing myself that I needed to write and pour my heart out, otherwise it would eternally be embedded and buried here.
I had to go over to Aunt Choon Lang's place ever since the long weekend holiday and I thought to myself that I should really utilize this time to bake. Truthfully, the thought occurred simply because I wanted you 
to try my bakeries, and that was all that I intended it to be. 
I spend the next two days convincing you
 on why we should meet and why I needed you to have them. 
Little did I know, it all had to happened the way I wanted it to be. 
I rushed to you as I knew I needed to be earlier than you are. 
The very sole fact that triggered this was the fact that the last cup of coffee we had in Pappa Rich, you waited so long for me. And I knew 
I had to be the one who waits for you this time round. 
I sat patiently whilst waiting for you at the bus stop and I read my time away. I could picture scenes in my head of two friends wanting to spend tea time together, or just two strangers wanting to know more about each other. I could have swore it is this curiosity that got the best out of me. 
This would kill me one day, right? 
And that was when my head turned around and I saw you there. 
Just standing there with your hands in your pockets and your smile flashed towards me. I stood up, wore my high heels and stride towards you. You calmed your composure as you patiently reach your hands out for a handshake. I wanted to run into you for a hug but I thought, 
I better not hug you in the middle of this no-where-to-go place. 
I looked at you, took a deep breath and asked bravely if we could both 
go for waffles and I stared so hard at you with my sleepy puppy eyes, 
half hoping you would say yes. And it was then when you inhaled and said yes. I could have sworn my heart leaped with joy but to my surprise, 
I just started walking calmly down the stairs to your car. 
We didn't go too far, it was just a franchise outlet of a fast food restaurant but I really wanted waffles. So we ordered our food and ate away quietly. 
I took out my tupperware of cookies while you were just talking your 
heart out to me and that was when I offered a piece of the chocolate chip cookie to you. And you blinked and took it with your hands. 
I could feel you shiver as I hand the cookies over to you. 
You tasted them and complimented me as you tried on the taster. As bad as it was, I knew I am a good cook and baker. When I saw you smile as you tasted my cookie, I had this huge grin on my face, knowing, 
"I've got you now". 
Through the tea session, you opened up so much to me. So much that 
I was just listening and clarifying issues with you. That was when you spoke about her. I could have heard your voice ache as you opened up about her yet I sat there quietly as I hear you speak your heart out. 
It scares me when a person shares and tells so much because this is me warning you that I am a baggage of emotions. When I asked you to share about yourself, you spoke so much for a quiet person like you. The best part of the whole evening was the fact that you were just being yourself and you told me about YOU, and that you were so honest, so kind, 
so vulnerable and THAT makes you a whole lot precious to me. 
It truly warms my heart that a stranger like you could get my attention span so quickly and I could have just gone on opening and sharing things out. You have no idea how great of a conversationalist that you are 
and now that I've seen you, I would want to see more of you.
My heart aches as I see you teared. It portrayed so much of pain, unsaid words and unrequited love. "I could have been there my dear, I thought to myseIf". I could have saved you out of the entire heartache. I questioned God why did He put you through my life at the eleventh hour. Many people say that for every person you meet in life, there must be a reason right? I never did got my answers. I pray for you, I really do. For your health, happiness and well-being. I pray for the best of you.  
Last Saturday, upon leaving town I cannot help but to think, why would 
a living soul do that to you. It didn't make any sense to me. In fact, when 
I boarded the train, I texted you saying I was going to leave and for the first time in many years, I think I'm going to be homesick, in a person. 
This is me, telling you, dearest stranger that you are lovely. 
Have a nice day and that I really cannot believe this is me saying... 
I think I missed you. 

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