Vienna.

You got your passion, you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
-Christian Borle-

The Love I Meant To Say ;
You are the love that I meant to say. 
Heh, so once again. I am here to continue my rantings. So total of six days of holidays and I am here to tell you what I've been up to thou. Sighs, true enough I can't stop thinking. But let me tell you what dragged me into this hell hole again alright. So, last night after updating, I got a feedback from this friend of mine and he told me ways of how I could improve my writing skills :]

I Heard Your Voice In A Dream ; 

I have never once thought I am capable of rotting this much. Thus, I challenged myself and I realized, hey, I am capable of anything I want thou. Been 96 hours since I leave the house and I realized I am actually spending time for myself doing things I adore and I AM HAPPY :] I really am. So I was on the phone with one of my girl bestie last night for almost two hours and ten minutes past midnight and I was so darn touched by her. Now, we spoke of life and all sort but what truly made me amazed was this morning, I woke up and I felt numb. I felt fearless and this is getting more and more mind blogging. I get it, I really do. Heh, everyone who surrounds me was right from day one itself and it was that time does not stop for nobody thou. And I am running out of time to make myself happy. So, what did I end up doing? I ended up finding myself back. Heh. I know. Weird as heck. What matters is I am happy :]

Besides, it is totally better this way.

Mum was right, heh. My mum would probably be the most amazing yet supportive woman yet. She was right saying nobody can ever force you into something you do not want to see. She wants me to brace myself for this. Cause' in the end she knows I'll be the one getting hurt again and again. But she stays through it all. So thank you mama :] She told me to give myself this one final chance. But is it worth the sweat anymore? I mean, don't get me wrong but convincing myself over and over again exhausts me. It makes me sore and it tires me. Because in the end, my good friends were right, if you would have meant something to somebody, they would come running to you in the end.

I know where I stand.

Thus, I don't know how many lucks I need. I don't know if I am doing it right or wrong. I know this is asking too much of my best friends to handle to hear me whine. Thus I have decided to solve this matter as soon as I see the chance to do it. I am gambling everything upright and upfront. But you know what keeps me happy? This, yumcha sessions with the group again. Cedric called me up early this morning to tell me to get ready cause we're going yumcha together tonight. This, heh. I am looking forward to these all. I can't wait to actually go for a morning jog with the girl best friend. I am obviously looking forward into watching ghost movie with them as well. Heh. 

"We will never sleep cause sleep is for the weak,we will never rest until we are fucking dead!" 

- Bring Me The Horizon

I have been asking so so much out of everyone all around me. To fix me upright and I think I am moving on. I think I have to shut this part of myself down. All of this are just messing the shit out of me. And I am freaking myself out as well. I truly apologize to everyone out there who I've been talking daily to. You've been nothing but amazing to hear me whine. Thank you so so much lovelies. But I think it is time for me as well to actually gulps all this down. Hold your head up princess, wipe those tears away and walk the walk. How long some more am I going to let myself cry? I can't change a mindset of a person. I can't convince a person if he has already set his mind to believe in something. I remember this very well. When I actually sat and spoke to Sanjay this year, I learned so much from him. It is true. No matter how long we had to sit and talk to any prefects, we can't really talk them out of things if they have already have this mind of quitting the board. And there isn't much that we can do anyways. It wasn't as if I have never tried. I have to tell myself that thou. I have to and Rav, you are so much stronger than this. 

Have faith and believe in yourself.

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

Time to blink away all these and do what I do best. I've been reading this. Been doing a lot of fictional readings as well thou. Heh. I know I am just so good at this. I've been going out shopping a lot. And when I say a lot. They mean a lot. I'll probably share somethings I've been getting lately out by the end of this post.  And not to forget ; I've been a bigger ; more huge addict for coffee thou. I can't help it. I can't help but to spread positives energy and love around. I love doing this. I love seeing people smile and realizing I am the reason why they are smiling makes me happy. Am I happy? I don't know. But would I be okay? Yes, I would be. I wanna be pretty and I wanna be able to Never Shout Never heh!

I felt something. 

Something that you'll never ever understand.          -Kuch Kuch Hota Hai-

This made my day. Been catching up on all Hindi movies again cause I'm cool like that. Everyone is right I deserve to spend things for myself. To be able to breathe again. I need to calm down and think this through before taking anymore stupid steps. And what better things to do than to actually get real inspirations itself from Tumblr itself thou? Check this out okay. 

Things I've found. Heh. 

All and all, before I go, just a shoutout to them three who had been a part of my life and would always been. 

I can't find to meet The One guy and let you guys meet him thou!

So ; is your pretty face here? Oh that simply meant ; I love you <3 Yes, wo ai ni :]  

Not forgetting this beetch who had been there for me through thick or thin, ups and down and hot and cold. All hail both my Queens thou. My TWO best girl friend in the world :] Future briedesmaids.

I can't wait to find these Stelena relationships thou! :] Inspired from The Vampire Diaries :]

Oh before I end this post, freaks  ;

Till then' au revoir ♥

Oh, before I forgot. 

Selamat Hari Raya dearies! xo ♥

P/S : This post is highly inspired by Little Things  that complete my life ; the tv series Smash and not forgetting the one and only movie ; The Perks Of Being A Wallflower ♥

We Can't Stop ; 

Miley Cyrus ♥ 

I think her turquoise tank top is so pretty ;

I think her boobies are perfect

and I think her tattoo SAYS IT ALL :]