Stuck On Stupid.

People change, feelings fade, heart broken, friends leave, friends become enemies, lovers become strangers, you’ll be judged, life goes on.  I ran after you when you walked out on me. I saw you walked off with my own pair of eyes.There are too much things to tell you. Why did I let you walk off me? Why didn't I just hug you? It was our last day of the year together and I just watch you leave. When reality hit me and I ran after you, you were long gone. It will be always her the person you love. I am just stuck on you baby. Stuck on stupid. I wanna tell you how much you mean to me. I want to tell you the world you impact me of. Am I crazy? Am I foolish? Boy, I lose it everytime. Just a little into you, that's for sure. You got me stuck on stupid for you. But your personality are the ones that captivated me in you. You know I'll die trying. Stupid things I do, I do it for you.

Hello stalkers. So sorry that I've put my blog on idle tho. Anyways, have you ever looked at someone and thank God that you have finally found that person? I mean, not in the sense that you love him or whatsoever and I don't mean that you are grateful that you have finally found The One. No, just not that way. What I meant is that have you ever looked beneath someone's eyes and be able to look into his soul and you could actually read his mind? That you could actually know exactly what is he feeling right that moment and that you know that you could trust him with your world? Yes, I have found him. Yet how could some things felt so good yet so hurt at the same time? How do I actually put these into words? :'(

So, what have I been into lately? Shopping. Hell yeah. I blogged about the first round with Celia and Sarah right? So, these were what I got from the second round of shop with Sabrina. Fingers crossed. Really hope that she wouldn't be reading this cause she would actually kill me for posting her picture up when I promised her not to. Anyways, I swear I must freaked her out cause I keep buying things I love and hun, I hate Peter Pan collar. I just can't stop buying and she must have shook her head cause she was so surprised tho. You guys might have not know this, but one of the main reason why am I in MBS is cause of this beautiful girl here. I still remember days in CBN when the both of us were stuck together. She and I decided we are attending MBS together :D What I wanna tell her is that I'm so sorry for not spending time with her and I've been so busy. But it felt so great after spending that shopping session with her cause I treated her Chatime and got the chance to sit down with her and talk things out. Update both our lives. Sometimes, it felt super great to tell someone who isn't facing the same exact thing what I am going through cause they advice you best. I adore her. Whilst shopping, I was worried cause at one point, I felt all the clothes I got was a lil' slutty and I felt so terrible. She looked into my face and tell me to say this five letters. I.D.G.A.F. Which is so true cause don't give a fook of what people wanna comment about you cause at the end of the day, what matters is your happiness and if people out there is gonna judge you based on what you wear then they are not worth of you. I forced her into a selca! :) Super sorry we look horrible. We were tired okay? There you go ; 

So I presume you guess that was it? No, I went for third round Chinese New Year (CNY) shopping with Shyam and Loshini. Pictures of the day and camwhores. We had Wendy's for lunch :) I bought Shyam lunch :) Yay cause he drove me from school to Times Square. He even fetch me home. So yeah :) All pictures are captured using Shyam's Samsung Galaxy 3. Yes, that guy is freaking rich and he's my deskmate this year :) He loves me a lot so he calls me beetch and not by my name and I heart him tho :D Of by the way bro! I collected your XS size Typical Malaysia tee ;) I captured a picture of it and I was so proud that mine is in red and it fits perfectly tho :) I paid for you as well. So claim yours from me next Tuesday, okay?

 Things Shyam and I bought. Such shopaholics tho. Should probably hang with him again just to shop. 

I'll be going out with Sarah again for the fourth round tomorrow in Kenanga City Mall and the Pavillion tho. Anyways, would be painting the town in neon tomorrow. So eager to wear this tomorrow. Might be watching MAMA and I'm freaking out cause I have no guts to watch movies like that and it felt like years since I last saw a film like those tho.

Hello, I have a good question and trust me. It is a good one. Why do we take people in our life for granted? I mean it. I mean, why do we humans never try to appreciate people when they're around and actually be nice to them. I mean, take me as an example. I've always love daddy. I mean, I was always his number one and being the only daughter at home is amazing. The ideal fact that I'm the apple to his eyes are just breathtaking.What I meant is that I'm such a rebel daughter. I never listen to him. Yet I yell at him and trust me, growing up in an Indian family is amazing especially if you are a baby girl. The idea that he always gives me stuffs I want and buy me things I need, yet I've never say a single thank you to him. Daddy always fetch me to school and back from school everyday tho. It has always occurred to me that it was his duty to do so but I never look from other people's angel that I am this god damned lucky to have such an amazing dad. For giving me present every single year without fail and for laughing at all my choices and say I have really weird taste. My dad's amazing. I mean, despite failing him to obtain straight Aces in SPM, he could even congratulate me and hugged me so hard and tell me in my face that he is proud of me. He ensures I have my meals right on time and was always there to bring me round town and every single fucking month would get extra allowance from him just to get novels and now not having me around sucks cause I don't get all these love anymore. Trust me, if I could trade all these, I would dad.      I would do anything just to get you back.

You know my name ; not my story.

It is so funny how I am not suppose to think of my dad and let me go in peace yet I believe he would be reborn. I just wanna let my dad know that I miss him tremendously and that I seem to stop breathing properly ever since he left. I hate myself. Really I do. How can I be so immature back then? Thinking of what to wear on Valentine's yet I should have spent every single holiday I have with family and not only know how to go out every single time. It sucks dad. It does. For seeing this part of world you have always meant. People judging you based on how you look and not who you are inside. Dearest you who gave me a phone call and totally ruined my night yesterday, really? That is what I get after spending so much time with you? I always seem to make time to talk to you on Facebook whether it is text. Talk about guys you adore. I even went to the extend of bringing you out, buying you Chatime which bear deep in you that I've never done that with any other juniors yet you came out with that statement. I mean, think of it from my side, is it fair for me to be taking shits from you anymore? No I don't. Truthfully, I am just sick of meeting people. I mean, if this is what life is about then I truly just wanna disclose life ever. I just don't wanna hang out anymore. I just don't wanna go out anymore. I just don't want things to do with you anymore. Cause plainly I hate myself and I hate you even more. I just wanna avoid you. Honestly speaking, I couldn't believe that statement came from you. You of all people :) Thanks a lot tho. I now know what I meant in your heart. If you are gonna judge a person based on how he/she looks, then kindly move the fook off my line and my face cause' I really just ain't interested tho.

Drop by Wong Si Nai in Pudu the other day with a lovely for lunch :) We both had butter cream chicken rice. These was our drinks. Umm, left was One Night Stand and the one on the right is Cheated Love was it? We both even left a note before we leave. Anyways, I had a great time. It was suppose to be a 30 minutes lunch. Eat then off and as usual. Things with him don't end up just ends up at 30 minutes do they? :) We ended up sitting and eating for two fooking hours! :) I forced him into accompanying me to go Pudu Plaza to stitch my new emblem on my blazer. I was so happy cause I had an amazing day playing in the rain :) I pitied him cause I think all his books we wet? :) Okay, what happened in the train was? :) Gosh, come see me and I'll tell you :) I don't wanna blog about it. Perhaps I should keep it as a besties dirty little secret? :) HAHAHAHA! 

Dearest everyone who is reading this. How do I tell you that I don't even know myself anymore? I don't know. I feel so crappish these days. I felt like I've been treating people giberrishly. I hate this new me and I really don't know what is wrong with me tho. I mean, mixed emotions like no one's business and I feel like breaking down every single time. How do you smile to a camera when you are breaking down inside and you have every rights to do it? How can a person who meant so much to you this time last year can be strangers with you and the person who meant the least to you last year became the world to you,today? How can time change you? How come time change me? How about time change us? Lunch with him was amazing and then I left for Leisure Mall to watch Hansel and Gretel. 

Don't you get it? Seriously? I can't feel that, It is sweet and everything, but it is like you are not even there sometimes. It is great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when I don't need a shoulder? What happenes if I just need your hug or something like that? You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things. Like take their hands when the slow songs comes up for a change. You are just missing out the point. Exactly. The point is I think you were great. It is just that I don't want to just be somebody's crush. If you like me, I want you to like THE REAL ME and not what you think I am. The worst part is that I AM ONLY ME, WHEN I AM WITH YOU. And I don't want you to be carrying this feeling around inside you. I want you to show me. I want you to fight for me. I want to be able to see it. And mostly, I want to be able to FEEL it. I want you to be able to do whatever you want around me. And if you ever do something I don't lie,

I want to be able TO TELL YOU.

Page 212 ♥

WE WERE JUST THERE TOGETHER ♥

AND THAT WAS ENOUGH ♥

 This book got me crying I swear 

I can't even breathe properly ♥

 We accept the love that we think we deserve. Stephen Chbosky.

 It wasn't the best quote by him. I find WE ARE INFINITE is nicer tho.

Anyways, I forgot how much I was into reading until I stumbled upon this book. I have never read a book and was so into it after Night World series tho. I swear I rate this book 10/10. Doubt I would even wanna watch the movie cause' I swear some movies just spoils the entire thing tho. Anyways, why am I back again? To tell you how my week went. Mmhmm. Okay, where do I begin? Alright,let me start by telling you I AM NOT BIAS. I am not okay? There isn't any emotional feelings nor attachments there. I just treat everyone equally yeah :) TRUST ME! Seriously, it hurts when kids start comparing that I love him even more than anybody else. Come on guys. Seriously? The idea of you guys talking was as if we're even together. 

E-X-A-C-T-L-Y?
We're just best friends and I love him. I mean, he listens to all my god damned complains and stuffs. Every slightest thing all the way to the major issues. How can I not adore him? For being there when I needed him. Forever and always. Plus, never get us wrong. I mean, we're close. That's all. There's nothing there. I mean, he's just a best friend that's all. Maybe we're into our friendship. I mean, I'm just in love with that friendship that's it. The idea of always being there for me and letting me know everything would be okay in the end ; touched my heart. Trust me, no one does it better than him. I can't believe how mean I can get by comparing him to this other kid at school. Okay, you get me jealous all the time okay. Like seriously. I hate the idea of her hugging you okay. Seriously. And I don't get hugs from you. Ugh. Who's the closer one to you? Me or her? Fine, hahaha. Big deal. I hug this other kid loh, not you. I don't know what's wrong with her. Whatever lah!
Next on my waiting list to be read tho :D 

He's leaving the school and it amazes me how much things could have changed in such a short period. For signing my orientation paper, I thank you. Gosh, I'll never forget you and those smile tho. I swear you always makes me laugh whenever it comes to me stressing out. I still remember when we sat down and talked about CIC classes. I adore you and every single bit of you. Honestly, I can;t even believe that you're leaving but I wish you well and I wish you luck there. Gosh, you made me higher! Thanks for the hug the other day. You made me feel like crying :X Funny how people impact my life tho I've never know you long, you taught me how to be an elder sister. The thought of letting you go sucks.         I'll miss you tremendously :')

Tea time earlier this week with Aunt Hua and kor! 
Wong Kok Char Teng ; Leisure Mall :)

I've been seeking high and low for an Eiffel Tower necklace. Anyone has any idea where can I get them? I need them desperately tho.

How do you look at the guy you love and tell him it is time to go? How do I tell you that it is so hard seeing you with somebody else? How do I let you know that you meant the world to me and how do I ever tell you that it is so hard to breathe when I see you with someone else? How do I? </3

The sun goes down. The star comes up. And all that counts ; is here and now. My universe would never be the same. I'm glad you came. 

So Glad You Came ♥

Dearest you ; this was the surprise I got you :)
Have a great Sunday tho. You made me smile this morning ; so don't let things get to you yeah? :) 

When I was young, like most kids,

I have always wanted to be a superhero.

Of course, I’m not that child anymore. What I’ve learned while growing up is that when you are a kid, you don’t worry about what others think of your ideas.

Your dreams have no boundaries.

But as we are looking forward our future, I’m not sure it matters what we want to be but rather who we want to be?

Someone honest or deceitful? Someone kind or cruel?

Someone loyal or faithful?

And I chose to always be loyal to myself  ♥ 

We accept the love that we think we deserve, don’t we? 

  

Royal Blood ;

Ellen Schreiber~

Love Always ; Raveenaa :)

If we give a little love ; maybe we can change the WORLD :)

The Hobbit. New hair-cut. New Nichii top. New necklace but old bestie for life :) 

I can't help it. I love the broken ones. The ones who, need the most patching up. The ones who've, never been loved. Never been loved. Never.

Dear school, honestly. Why are you so taxing? I've been so much in stress lately I can barely even smile anymore. What am I even doing in school man seriously? Every single morning, I pray just to get through the day. I mean, seriously what's happening to me :( I used to love school. I used to love things I do. I used to cheer people up. I used to smile whole day round. I used to be the class chatter box and right now. Everything seems like it have reached the boiling point. Sucks to be me right now. 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

 -Kelly Clarkson.

She lied. That's the ugly truth. You are a human. You're bulletproof. If I was about to take a knife and cut you right now, you'll bleed to death and there was no way it is gonna make you stronger. Get it? Wake up and face reality. 

It is hilarious that all these only happened when we take over things. No? I can daringly stand in front of you and assure you that they wouldn't even be saying that this time last year. Honestly, it sucks. Maybe all we gotta do is stop pointing fingers. Just don't. Start picking up all the blames. Get everything done when people does it halfway. Really. Screw up your life. Keep quiet when you're being stepped on. Life goes on. When I spoke to him last Tuesday night, everything finally made sense. You know, it would always be there whether you want it or not. Everything would always be fine. People change and we learn to adapt. We learn to give in. We learn to give and take. We learn to love people who doesn't even acknowledge you. Always. With or without you. Everyone's life is gonna be the same with or without you, Raveenaa ; cause' you don't impact people life that much as others does in your life. 

You asked for it, you paid for it. You're what you deserve. You wanted it, the benefit. 
How does it feel? Worse? 
-Welcome To Savannah ; Breathe Carolina ♥

Hello stalkers. I'm back once again. So, I had a great day today! Really. Let me start from this morning okay? I went to school at six this morning cause' I've got no idea why did I even woke up so early and showered for school tho. So, was stuck in school and assembly ticked me off itself. Don't ask me why. One of my fave kid cried. I did the craziest thing to make him smile tho. Counted to three with him and force him into a smile with him and he ended up laughing cause' he felt silly. Gosh, darn cute. Fine, screw all that. Went back to class and talked to Ben for the entire first period. Gosh, I darn pity him. He's like stuck between the both of us tho :) Sorry yeah, lovely :)

You got a girl ; that doesn't look a thing like me. The girl, your mother always said it would be. So, you could say that, you could say that ; 
I'm hopeless ♥   
- DEV. feat Enrique Iglesias (NAKED)
 Really? Hopeless? But that ain't the girl you wanted me to be right? But you can say that. Really. You can tell her that you love her and not me :) Here's one thing. When you attend school for three long weeks already and in that three weeks, you ended up spending two weeks not talking to someone so close to you, kills. That feeling kills. After our two middle person have been so stressed up cause of us, *trust me* I was laughing when I typed this. You have no clue how fucked up they feel know? Now that I thought back all these, I pity both of them tho :O Hahaha. Cause of us. So, after school, Ben had to force us both to sit down and talk things out. Darn pity you :) I can't even breathe tho. 

People say that your true friend follows you wherever you go. So, this lovely pair of flats have been with me since last December. 
Can I call it my bestie too? ♥   
So we both sat down and started talking. Wah, what is air man. Seriously. Started spilling things out and two hours was gone. Thank you so so much for listening to me tho. I felt like breaking down you know when I told him everything he wanted to know. He deserved to know the truth. So, yeah. We spoke, laughed so hard and at one point, he made me feel so silly cause' why did we even stopped talking tho? :'( Like really. Cause you freaked out? :O I must have looked really scary when I'm ticked off tho. So many things happened and that heart to heart talk was amazing tho. It just fix things straight. See, next time you're angry come into my face and yell. Instead of going round and complaining yeah? :) Boo you! :) Guess I missed him always being there and letting me know things are always gonna be okay. Truth to be told, I miss laughing like mad with him. Okay, let me tell you readers straight, there would always be one bestie that you can always share all these little things and personal stuffs be.  Which totally reminds me, if you're from a girls' school and people tell you, you can't find a guy bestie, look at them in the eye and say ; only two words ; fuck you. Seriously. I've proven the statement wrong, so can you! :) 

Lets make the most of the night, like we're gonna ;
DIE YOUNG (KE$HA)
If you say so. Why didn't the world end in 2012? 
Is nineteen counted as young, Ke$ha? :) 
So, after leaving school, went to meet up with Sarah to shop for Chinese New Year outfits :) While trying this in Nichii, Celia called and she ended up joining us to shop as well :) Here are photos of our New Year dresses! :) Pretty bo? ♥  

When would you realize, baby , I'm not like the rest? 

-Let Me Give Your Heart A Break! :)

 You can only either cause the person a heart attack and then make the person's heart stop beating instead of giving it a break. You get me? 

So, the three of us ended up buying so many stuffs and we killed Bukit Bintang until ten p.m. Walked from Times Square, Sungei Wang, Lot 10 and Pavillion. All I remembered was gossiping, talking, laughing and lots and lotsa trying clothes just now :) Was so into shopping until we had our lunch at six cause I couldn't stop complaining that I was hungry and we had to stop for KFC cause we were standing in front of it just now. 

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain? (Rod Stewart)
Photo shoot in Times Square concourse area before leaving for Starbucks! :) Celia is the one in black tee whereas Sarah's the one in blue. I love both my girls tremendously. Had so much fun despite it is our first CNY outing together. Just realized that it was my first time chilling with Celia tho :) 
Had so so much F-U-N! 






Summer after high school, when we first met. We make out in your Mustang to Radiohead. On my eighteenth birthday, we got matching tattoos :)  
-The One That Got Away ; Katy Perry.
I don't even see any tattoos on you, Katy. Like seriously? At eight p.m. the three of us throw in the towel and admitted defeat. We were so exhausted that we finally decided to grab Starbucks at the end tho. 

I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss and a prince I'm hoping comes with this. (Enchanted). 
Awh, really? Keep on dreaming tho. Really. Would you want him to come riding in a white horse too? 
So was in Sungei Wang walking towards the exit when I saw her. Screamt so loud in front of the PDI shop tho. Vicky! ;) One of my best junior back then in primary school. Convent Peel Road's amazing! :)



You put it down like New York City! ♥
Sarah's parents even bought me dinner and that was the sweetest thing ever. Like seriously tho. Ugh. Darn sweet and it was so amazing to meet Shawn again tho. The parents even sent me home and met mummy for the first time ever. Darn proud of myself walked round KL until eleven today. Gosh. In my prefects tie, name tag and badge still on. I'm too proud of myself already tho I know, those people who see me out there sure would think I went to loiter tho. So, yeah. I felt so much loved you know. The mum even got me these lychee milk tea drink. So lovely.
I felt so much loved :) 

"Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away. And going away means forgetting." – Peter Pan
Dearest Wilson just tagged me these on Facebook! Counting down to Joe Brooks' new single tho! Till' My Heart Stops Beating :) Darn excited and happy. That girl is from Pretty Little Liars tho. If you don't know who Joe Brooks is, follow him naw on @joebrooksmusics tho. He's amazing yeah :) Yet, go listen to him. Superman. Holes Inside. These Broken Hands Of Mine. All are amazing songs by him tho :) 

Can you keep up the pace like you're dying for this? And when you say "I'm not okay," I left my phone in the cab? Now you can't get me ; I'm only getting started. I won't blackout ;) This time I've got nothing to waste ; Let's go a little harder. I'm on fire. I won't blackout. I'm on my way I'm only getting started ♥ 
One more thing is that if you're reading this. Remember the lunch I went with Aunty Serene? The Taiwan Restaurant one in the previous post? Sorry, these took so long to upload the pictures. But here you go. God things are worth the wait. Sorry that some of the pictures were really blur cause bad phone quality camera. Sorry :( Wilson, I know you need these too. If you're taking, be sure you blog of me too, handsome! :) The pictures, here you go! :)

If I was Mickey ; would you be my Minnie? If I was Peter Pan, would you be my Jane? If I was Spiderman, would you be my Mary Jane? Awh, I do. I love you, Just The Way You Are ♥

Never "whatever" a person who meant so much in life cause' you never know what he/she might feel. The idea fact that you still care so badly for her. Never do that cause you don't know what she feels for you. You never know how much words would hurt so badly tho. Never push away someone who adores you so much in his/her life cause you don't know what would happen. All you could have done is to sit down and talk things out. Never give up on hope. Faith. Faith would always be there for you. You would always have that fire as long as you still hope. Learn to NEVER wave a person off. Really. 

People may think he's not perfect but in my mind he's beyond perfect; when you're able to look into his eyes and see the real him. Having his arms wrapped around you because he cares more about you than anything, the way he says I love you and those cute little inside jokes nobody else would understand. The way he laughs at your jokes even when they aren't even funny or the way he talks about you to his friends it makes you realize how much he means to you. His flaws make him perfect and when I'm around him I feel like everything's okay again and he's the solution to all my problems. :)Best friends makes you feel as if you never have to face all your problems alone ever again. I adore you. 

 Guess who signed my Excelsior? My school magazine tho. Met him for lunch and showed him his picture during MBSSKL International Understanding (IU) 2012 Day tho. I love you kor. Shared so many stories and he ended up listening to me whine and complain again tho. Had so much fun! Thank you Exodus Captain!  ♥  

Dearest Ervin Chai, if you're reading this consider yourself really lucky tho. I forgot how we actually met but if I wasn't mistaken it was by bumping into you last year when we went out to get ourselves Chatime for the class. You were lost and you came to ask me where Central Market was :O Boo you. Hahaha. Okay, anyways, that incident made us friends. No, scratch that. Best friends. For teasing me all the tome cause I have this adoration towards guys with dimples. Oh, one more thing! Please okay. That photographer ain't cute. I'm so much better and plus. Joe Brooks and Alex Goot are the two perfect example of what I'll call P-E-R-F-E-C-T! :) Thank you for listening to all I've got to say tho. Must bring me go Wong Si Nai okay. I miss the hangout session in Chatime tho! Keep rocking and keep being this amazing. Keep on having faith and keep on smiling ; cause for all you know, there might be someone else out there falling for you and your smile, sooner than you think. Take care alright, kiddo? :)

Before I go, this is for all of you out there who feels like giving up on life cause people couldn't keep bugging you. Stand up for yourself and hold your head up high. Tell yourself that there are more to life than this. You don't deserve all this bad treatings. No one. No one even yourself has the rights to complain nor compare you to someone else who you're not. He was right. All for all, get cha head in the game and always. ALWAYS. BE. YOURSELF.

 Thank you for being this sexy, bestie. 

Sparks Fly

(Taylor Swift)

Blogged for almost three hours :O

Glad You Came :)