Faith.

Faith. Hope. Love. 

Last Friday, I wanted to catch some nap when 

Aunt Hua stopped me and told me, to get ready cause' she wanted to bring me out for a movie. I ended up driving her that night and we went to the night market in Cheras Leisure Mall for dinner. Since it was a Friday. We went in for the movie, Jurassic World at 19:20 p.m. which took us two hours and ten minutes. Rating this movie : 7.5/10. We came out from movie and dropped by in Sen Q for refrigerator shopping and walked out to grab dinner at ten p.m. This is what I had for dinner, Fried Scallop for herself and Fried Oyster, for myself. Queued so long for this like seriously.

Last Saturday, I had these for dinner with the family. 

Only three of us cause' Sureen went out for futsal.

I know, I am pretty late for this post but stick till the end, I'll explain why I've been procrastinating on this blog post. Anyways, I don't think anyone even knew that, last Sunday, I was even in Sunway Pyramid with a close family friend of mine. Anyways, here is 

a picture of me, pulling off the Sunway Pyramid look.

So, last Sunday, which is like two days ago, I know, I am running super late for this. Anyways, I drove myself to the Bandar Tasik Selatan LRT and I hopped onto the train to switched to the Ampang lane, at Chan Sow Lin. That was when I got a call from my best girl friend, Mei Yee, telling me she has reached with her sister, Shelby already! :] In that instant, I knew I was running late, but I prayed that I wouldn't make the sisters wait so long since I was occupied with my lipstick and eyeliner in the train. Anyway, you lovelies guessed 

it right! I went out with the girls for a mini date. 

Once I reached Pandan Jaya, both the sisters picked me up and we drove off to Sunway Pyramid talking and chatting. I was complaining along the way that I am starving and hungry all the way there. So we were suppose to have Brussel, this Western Food shop but since it had already been shut down, we settled for Pasta Zanmai instead. The food is really good and tasty except the fact that, it was so hot in the restaurant! We were further joined by Shelby's friend 

in that restaurant, Michelle later on for lunch. 

The Chiow sisters! 

There is another one, Piper. Really wanted to meet her but then she had to leave for a raya open house so it is okay. There would always be next time right? Speaking of Pasta Zanmai, I bumped into Carmen Yen from HELP University there as well. So, we had our lunch and talked some more and by the time we finished eating, the clock was showing 14:30 p.m.

So, the first shop that we went was Terranova and I managed to grab a top from there considering it was at such a reasonable price and you wouldn't get this shop elsewhere. We walked on to Zara, Dorothy Perkins, Brands Outlet, Nichii, I literally lost count of how many shops we entered. By 16:30p.m., the four of us, Shelby, Mei Yee, Michelle and I stopped over for desserts in Mc Donalds Mc Cafe and Mei Yee and 

I ran over to grab ourselves ice-blended ice-creams from Wendy's. I didn't enjoyed it as much as Mei Yee,

 I felt that Mc Donalds had better vanilla ice-creams.

When it was five, Michelle had to leave and the three of us marched on to Kitschen and took some more selfies in there. I really liked this mint dress from Nichii except the fact that it was already smeared with dirt. So we opted not to buy it cause me being the 

typical me, always striving for perfectionist. 

     Anyways, here are pictures of us!     

Before we leave Sunway Pyramid, we had to stop at 

a mandatory pit stop, H&M, my favourite outlet for 

a browse. Too bad I didn't get anything from there tho due to the fact that I have ugly shoulders. Okay, 

the fact that the dresses looked ugly on me. So yeah. 

I knew, we had to get this Taste Better durian puffs before we leave because the first time I tried it was years ago and then I ate them again in Melaka and I bought like three boxes and gave one to the sisters. They both dropped me at home and it was already seven at night thanks to the fact that I had to cook dinner. Before I hopped off the car, they gave me my belated 21st birthday gift which brought me to tears.

You loves were wondering why this post was two days late right? Remember at the start of the post I said that I was gonna tell you why I took forever for this? Simply because I have been busy packing up and the fact being I have been so scared unwrapping the gifts. It took me almost 48 hours to opened them and finally last night I found my guts to open them. Here you go :)

Saw this and I knew I just had to share this out.

Maybe I'll be this kind of a wife someday.

This is like my latest current addiction.

Just got invited to a 21st birthday upcoming month! 

It is gonna be a like a mini reunion. I cannot wait!

Can I marry him and drop out of law school already?

Maybe, I should learn and pick this up!

Found? Yes? No?

 Courage.

Want.

Waking up to texts like these.

 My Titas lecture is THE BOMB.

Facebook.

Break.

Break. I need a break.

Can we talk?

As in a serious conversation between two person. 

You know this is you? This is the same person who has threatens to harm my family months ago. 

This is the same person who has forgot my birth date. 

The same guy who makes my heart beats really fast. 

The same guy who is coming back into my life. 

The one person who gets me every single time. 

You know, it is so hard to understand you.

Really. It is so hard to understand you sometimes.

I have always, always looked up to you and I have always felt as if you are indeed someone to look up to. 

Dude, you are aware and you do know of it right? That it is indeed not easy for someone from a small town to come ALL THE WAY to town just to work. And to be working at such a tender age and to be this successful. Lets be frank. It is something that I can never do. Seriously.

Fine, lets just talk about us. I have been trying so hard. So so hard and I have felt that all these time that has already passed by, you've transformed into somebody new and that, I don't even know this you. I've come to a realization that maybe, just maybe. I've never really knew you in the first place. I've never known  the real you. The true you. Not family. Not friends. Nothing at all, about you. Nothing. You have always been the person to live day by day basis but I was always the other half wanting the better for us both. Maybe, after all these years, you have always just been using me. Maybe I've never learn anything about you.

The main issue to us, is that you can never 
be " just friends " with the person you love.

Cause at the end of the day, you ALWAYS ALWAYS makes me feel as if I am not good enough. Let me be not being smart enough. Or not being pretty enough or whatsoever. There would always be somebody to compare me to. I don't understand why we can never let our egos down a little and work things out together? Why can things never ever be the same again? And slowly, I started putting the puzzle pieces together.

You'll never ever put in effort to attend functions 
of which I have invited you to. Let it be a simple graduation or temple prayers. Or let it be, the main highlight of my life, my dad's funeral. You'll just never put in any effort from yourself to attend anything that has to deal with me. And that was when I knew, 
that I had to let you go. For good. 

I am letting you go, because you deserve a better woman. One who is better than me. One, who would keep you really happy. I don't bake nor cook well. But 
I do try you see. I do. I don't really bake nor cook well, but you were the first person I do all these silly things for. And you have always come to say that why am 
I wasting money once again? I've never felt that way because I've always put you as an importance. Because all that matters to me, is that as long as 
you smile, and that no matter how tiring it gets, 
I still wanna keep you smiling. I still wanna do it.

Fine. Let it go. We shall put that on pause. Lets come to a halt and time for me to be real honest here. Do you know how jealous I get of people? When they get to send cute selfies to one another. Or stupid pictures and text they get to send at the end of their day, wanting somebody to talk to? Meeting each other family and annoying friends and all that stupid crap you can come to think of? Which what do you always call them? Ah, yes, a waste of time. I on the other hand, 
I don't. I would kill to meet the family members you talk to me about and I would want to meet your friends. Vice versa, I would want YOU to meet mine as well.

But no! In your life and in your dictionary. 
You can never be seen with me outside. Not even in 
a shopping mall or outside, together. Never. Now, 
tell me, when was the last time we both ever sat down 
for a meal together? Don't remember, do you? 
Every single thing is always SO wrong in your eyes. Seriously. Everything is always just SO WRONG 
and everything is never right. Just never! Even once!

Maybe you are just too ashamed to be seen with me. To admit that you know this girl. To know that you know this imperfect flawed girl named, Raveenaa. 

When you proposed to the girl and she came to me about it, I spend the night crying the night away all alone in my bed. Wishing I was never this insecure. Wishing I was a little better. Wishing I would be good enough for you. I just don't want you anymore. Really. Don't bother coming back for me. Even to attend my funeral or whatsoever that involves me. Just don't. You've chose do disappear, so you might as well 
just be gone for the rest of my life down the road. 

You don't bother what I've been through or what have my family has undergone. Just don't. Don't bother about me anymore. Focus on you. Focus on yourself and you are gonna do just fine. You're gonna be okay.

This is the same person, that makes my heart fall for. And the same boy who makes my heart beats once again. But, I just cannot do this anymore. I can't. 
I cannot be falling for you over and over again, knowing that you would never feel the same for me. 

Enough is enough.

Let me go. I am not your type anyways, and you deserve someone better and way prettier and 
better than me. So appreciate you new girl.

I am so sorry for everything. Seriously.