All These Little Things ; They Add Up To You.

Dear you, 
I am so sorry that I've put my blog on idle. But I am back for more simply because I thought I should get some things off my chest. This one is for you, I guess.

I wrote this, stuck in a crowd filled with people who could really put me in such an uncomfortable state. 
I wrote this listening to my playlist here wishing we had a song of our own together.

That night when I called you up to tell you that I've been skipping meals for the day, I could hear that you sounded really worried. Laughing it off, I couldn't help but to notice the tone in your voice changed when I told you that I needed a person to accompany me to dinner as I was starving and before I could even ask, you said okay immediately. Within a heartbeat, I could have swore at the sense of guilt I was feeling that night questioning myself as to why am I putting you through THIS.

Having dinner at ten at night was a basic normal thing any student in this university goes through. But note the fact that you actually cared about me, made me so touched that night. Before we stepped out of the car for food, you handed me things you know which are of my favourites. When I told you a week ago that my friend finished them away within a split second that I never did even get a chance to taste a piece of it, you came back this time with two packets of it. For the second time that night, I swore at myself that I do not deserve this kindness that you're showering me with.

We walked in silence towards the restaurant and I was speechless. I mean, who wouldn't be especially when you've been surprised that way. I requested for photos that very night simply because it was a moment I never want to forget in my life. It was of that kind of moment that I was so starstruck, I could not even think straight. As we walked further to have dinner, I could really see in those pair of eyes of yours, that, you were deep in your thoughts again. I waved them off thinking I should really concentrate on our time together,

 instead of overthinking things again.

You paid for dinner that night, and you caught me so much by surprise. Honestly. I couldn't help but to watch you with full of awe, wondering to myself where have you been my whole life. It makes me sad that it took so long for your you to actually find your way to me after all these while. We left the restaurant laughing and giggling so loudly, and it was when we wanted to cross the road that our hands brushed one another's. And it was just that gracefulness of yours I think, I really do not remember what exactly happened next but all that I could remember was that my heartbeat was beating so quickly. I really thought my heart was going to burst. The funniest part was that I tried my level hardest to keep calm and despite almost bursting from the inside, my heart was racing so quickly and I could hear my breath quicken yet my fingers betrayed my mind as they laced themselves perfectly and comfortably 

into those delicate and long fingers of yours.

I could have rested my palm intertwined with yours for life. That warmth feeling from you was something that 

I pray that I would never forget my whole life. I push the thoughts back to the back of my mind as I really struggled so hard to put on a straight face because

 I honestly did not want you to even notice how 

nervous and nerve wrecking it became for me.

There must have been something with those eyes of yours that I am falling so deeply for. It was then at that very moment where I could have felt that, for once, everything was going to be okay. That we are in control and it was going to be alright. That no matter where this life leads us to, the both of us would be free. To me at this very point, I would want to get back to that very second and put everything on halt, and watch you with those big eyes of mine. I didn't want it to end and

 I wanted all of it back. I really wished 

that I had the superpower to relive all of it. Again.

We walked some more and drove around into the night and looked out through the window. Our hands were still intertwined and all I could ever wish for was time to stop ticking away. There was this one point that you squeezed my hand and looked at me in the eyes that 

I felt sad. Your eyes were laced with some kind of sadness and I would honestly do anything just to save you out of it. I almost teared that night knowing that your eyes were filled with an uncertain kind thoughts and sadness which had been rooted inside your heart, seeping into your soul. And all that I could do, was WATCH.

I felt guilty as I daringly broke off the gaze as I thought to myself, that letting go of your hand, would definitely break me one day. That I am sure of. I am going to feel a pang in my heart realizing how attach I've became to you. All these little things ; they add up to you. I am so into you, you've got no clue. Yet, here I am wishing and praying, if only I was good enough got you. 

I don't deserve you, really. I don't. 

You're just too nice for a girl like me. 

Goodnight.

     Late Night Drives.      

      The One.     

     He's The One.