Not Perfect.

I'm sorry I can't be perfect.

Everything seems meaningless these days and today, is the day that marks it all off. I know, I am not as tall as him nor am I as good looking as the older one. I know, I am not as fair as your nor as smart as she can be. I am aware of the very fact that I am growing up and I am suppose to be tough and strong. 

Sorry cause I decided to be me.

Sorry cause I look so much like my dad.

Sorry cause I have an ugly scar across me that shows what I have been through. Sorry cause I was never this perfect girl you've always wanted. Sorry cause I loved to be the loud, crazy and silly me. Sometimes, all I ever wanted was just for you to look at me ;

 And tell me that you are proud of me.

I know I get it that I am ugly and fun sized. I know I am a waste of space. I am fully aware of that. I know and I am trying. all I am ever trying to be is to be good enough. There isn't a day where I wake up in the morning and tell myself that I want you to take a look at me one fine day and point a finger towards me in the crowd and call me, YOUR GIRL. It had always been my dream to be your IT GIRL.

That I have made it to the TOP.

I know writing this, I am filled with rage. But I am working hard. I am. Sixty seven days more to go and all I have ever wanted is these final days. I'll go. I know, looking at me pains you so much when all you have ever wanted was a perfect me and here I am standing before you, looking totally opposite like what you have always wanted. Here I am, like Shrek. 

You know, Economics is like my worst subject ever. Yet, you made a hell fun out of me cause of it. I strive my very best wanting to achieve a good results in exams. It is bad enough for one to undergo the torment I did whereby everyone I know get to do stuffs they want for life. Whatever they choose. 

You, made a fool out of me. 

I'll move. I'll go out. I'll leave and I guess it is all up to me to support myself again. I deeply apologize. I do. This final days are ones I'll cherish most. Give me time. I will pay you back. Every single cent. 

Every single penny you have ever spent on me.

All and all, I am just sorry for 

NEVER being good enough.

I am just a girl and insecurities kills. 

I guess, maybe this world is better 

off without me. That I should just die. 

After all, I am better off on my own.

Screw all these feelings away thou :'(

Here's a little something for you 

to know about me more ;

And here's a little something for me, to 

know myself better ; from today onwards ;

Ever Enough ;

A Rocket To The Moon featuring Debby Ryan :]

I AM ABOUT TO GO INSANE

SERIOUSLY :'(