Mercy.

Hello dearies
Day ten and post number four.

It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters. And make fun of our exes uh uh, uh uh.

-Twenty Two-

So, it is exactly four in the morning and I can't think of anything else but I am just here stuck on stupid. Stuck on stupid for you. I was laying on the bed for the past one hour trying to figure out how on Earth am I going to fall asleep. Funny, I am just so darn exhausted and defeated but my mind just wouldn't shut down. I just can't stop thinking thou :'[ I just feel like the biggest damn fool on planet :/

*teardrops on my keyboard*

 

I think love is fearless ; Taylor Swift :]

So what happened last Sunday night, the whole clan ; Cedric, Dhillip, Alex Lee, Leslie Yap , Eugene Tan and I decided to go for a yumcha session in Sri Petaling and as usual, the halfway cabut ones, reached there, ordered a cup of iced lemon tea, quench my thirst, gulp it down my throat, changed our minds last minute and we left for Percy Jackson : Sea Of Monsters in Leisure Mall. Wanted to watch The Conjuring so bad but they ran out of showtimes tho :/

You gave me all your love but

 all I gave you was goodbye.

-Back To December ; Taylor Swift-

Hey and yeups. So I shall rate the movie Percy Jackson : Sea Of Monsters as to 7/10 thou. And I want you guise to actually meet my new found crush, Logan Lerman. And yes, you've got it right. He starred in this movie Percy Jackson as the heir of 

God of The Seas, Poseidon.

Drew talks to me. I laugh.

 Cause it is so damn funny.

-Teardrops On My Guitar-

Okay, well obvious much that I am going to blog about how perfect Logan Lerman is right in this post, thus check this pictures :]

"Don't be afraid to lose what was never meant to be." 

-Taylor Swift-

And this ;

"We always want what we can't reach." 

-Taylor Swift-

And lets not forget this ;

So shame on me now, 

I knew you were trouble when you walk in.

And this as well ;

I've got tired of waiting ; wondering if you were ever coming around. My faith in you was fading ; 

when I met you on the outskirts of town.

-Love Story-

Okay, where do we go from here? It is Wednesday already and ten days of holidays had passed and all my homeworks are still untouched. I feel like crying. I really do :/ I have so much workloads and projects to do and I just don't know where to begin and being the usual Queen Of Procrastinating ; I just feel like not doing anything at all. Mum threw me a challenge thou. That I am only allowed to attend PESS International Understanding Day if and only if I get all these shiets done and realizing that I know I am doomed. Today is August 14th meaning another six days and it sums up to five months not talking to him thou. As things about him right, should I just leave it up to fate already right now? I think time has played its role well and it had been so long since the both of us last spoke. And I am learning and holding things up. Looking at him, he is happy and he is glad to be surviving days without me too. Is it real that I am just not meant to be in his world anymore? Am I that worthless that I no longer matter and is this the end? For the best of both worlds? 

Is this how is it suppose to be?

I wish I was strong ; enough to lift, 

not one but both of us.

Both Of Us ; Taylor Swift feat. B.O.B

You see, the main problem is, I don't know how much I mean to you. But I pretty much guess you know what you mean to me you see? I mean why does this misery only seems to be tormenting me anyways and I have to pretty admit this that I do miss you :'[ Is this for the betterment of both of us? Says who? Says you? You can't judge nor decide for me in regards about my life you know? No you can't do that. You can't just make youself so important to somebody and then walk off their life the next day no you can't. And I miss your hugs :( I do. I am homesick and your hugs feel so much like home to me. I somehow guess this is it you know? :( For being able to look into your eyes and you used to tell me that our eyes are the windows to our souls. And today, after so long, the table turned and the roles switched. I guess I just no longer mean anything to you. Seriously.

Everything Has Change.

Oh, in regards of this, I woke up at five in the evening today and cooked lunch with the older brother. Guess what we cooked? Here are two pictures of it :]

“When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.”

-Taylor Swift-

P/S : Yii Meng, I left these two pictures out in the previous post thou :] We captured this in 

the dessert shop or at Navinesh's place yeah?

 I forgot, so sorry but here are them pictures ;

I was a dreamer before you went ; and let me down.

-White Horse ; Taylor Swift-

Four more days till' school reopens,

 I feel like this is it. 

This is the end. 

I think my life ends here you know. 

I remember tears streaming down your

 face when I say I'll never let you go.

-Safe and Sound-

Opps, I did it again. 

My Asus tablet is running low on battery right now so I gotta hop. Gotta like stop blogging right now and resume my work thou :]

Thank you so much for reading yeah.

 Till' then freaks ;

Saya cinta padamu. 

I love you. 

Wo ai ni. 

Ngo oi lei. 

Naan unnai kadhal likkiren.

Shopping picture. 

You Are The Best Thing That Had Ever Been Mine. 

I bit a stuffed animal and I took a picture.

TRY THIS GUISE! :]

WARNING : Well if you are not a Logan Lerman's fan nor a Swifter, I suggest you to like just exit this page right now at this second :] Heh. If you are or you are fine with them both then welcome aboard and read my next post :] This post is highly inspired by the actor Logan Lerman and the famous 
female country singer, Taylor Swift <3

This whole post is inspired by the colours ;
Gold, Black and Red :]

Started crying when I saw these cause 
I can't even :/

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now ;

Starships ; 1980.

Roar.

It took me so long to move on and I did, 
I was happy but you came back and fucked it all up again :/
-Wonderhush-

So, hello readers. Welcome back. 

Well, I challenged myself to actually lock myself up in my room and get this post done with and then I would actually leave this seat of mine.

So, where do I begin? So last midnight ; a close guy friend of mine, Willis decided to tweet me and ask me out for a steamboat reunion thou. I thought better to actually ask him instead of going for steamboat for dinner, I thought I might as well bring him for dinner near my fave vegetarian restaurant, Tian Yian Cafe in Miharja and besides, I thought better that we could also kill two birds with one stone. It had been so so long I've been wanting to go to the night market in Miharja for the food and snacks there thou but I never seem to be getting the opportunity to do so :/ Sighs.

So today, I woke up to the worst nightmare any mankind creature can ever ask for thou. In that dream, everyone around me was dead. I could see everyone lying on the ground and dead. Either stabbed or shot to death. There were bodies lying everywhere and before I could scrutinize properly and realized, those warm dead bodies around me were all of people I love. Family, close friends, best friends, enemies. Everyone around me. I could see everyone's pale face and when I look down to myself, I saw myself smeared and covered with blood and I woke up. Then, I woke up screaming at three in the afternoon and ran downstairs. I ran and I bumped into my older brother and I thank God he was just home on that day when I needed him. He was having lunch when I suddenly break into tiny sobs and he just calmed myself down. He then later told me to go get myself showered up and he actually bought me lunch and with drinks.  Made my day by pampering me.

Later that afternoon, I texted Willis asking if the plan was still on and he told me that there would be the four of us if we wants to go Pandan Indah for steamboat however if we opt for night market then Navinesh ; one of my best pal as well, might not be able to make it thou. So as the usual, I was so enthusiastic considering I have not seen him for this past two weeks of holidays so I said okay, lets do this shit and I decided to meet Willis and one of my  lovelies, Yii Meng at six in the evening at Maluri and we would travel to Pandan Indah by train.

So, I decided to take a moment to dress up and I threw on a skirt and I hop on a bus at sharp five hoping I would not be late. Thus, I met them two lovelies, Willis and Yii Meng then we travelled to Pandan Indah by train and we walked over to Navinesh's place. Now meeting Navinesh was one thing, but the main thing was we walked over to this one steamboat restaurant. I forgot what was it called and all I could remember was it was located next to the Maybank thou. It is call Pandan Indah Steamboat if I am not wrong thou.

Thus, eating mission begins and we laughed and we chatted and we drank and we cheers and we screamed and we shout and of course nevertheless, we took photos. Here are some photos we took in the restaurant thou. So, after almost two hours of eating ; we called for the bill and it costed RM 116 meaning RM 29 per pax. We paid and we left for desserts directly behind the steamboat shop. Now, don't get me wrong but we were so full thus we made Keng Kwan order this dessert. It was called, mango sago tau foo fa. We sat and we took ever more photos than ever. Here you are :] A picture of the dessert and pictures of us three spamming Willis's beloved Samsung Three phone as usual.

After desserts we walked Navinesh back to his condo and we decided to drop by to say hi to his family. We went over his house and talked even more in his room. I finally met his dad and he was such a nice person thou :] So, we spoke about our year end trip thinking about ditching the Langkawi plan for some more private place for us to know. Heh. So we chat and before we realized it ; the clock struck ten and I screamed that I needed to go home or 
else I might not have transport home.

Navinesh being the utter sweet one decided to ask his dad to drop the three of us awesome freaks at the train station considering it was already too late and too dark plus dangerous for us to walk anyways. His dad dropped us off and we bid goodbyes. It was then when it struck me hard that my older brother was out on a date for The Conjuring in Pavillion and I remember clearly that he drove. So I decided to give him a call to ask him to fetch me back and he agreed. Had to like literally called him for about eleven times and texted him twice to only realize he was in cinema and thus he couldn't answer my calls :(

He told me his movie was about to finish around 2330hours and when the three of us peeked into our watches, the time showed it was already 2300 hours anyways. So we went all the way to Bukit Bintang and we called this buttocks, Wilson, out for a late night yumcha session at the mamak stall near his place :] Along the way, I had to freak Yii Meng out for advices and he did give me a great heart to heart talk thou and I appreciate it so so much :'] He came out and we had a long drama talk about working life and we bid our goodbyes after that considering older brother gave me a call he was waiting for me at the 
boarding walk in Times Square.

Gave them three freaks hugs and we said goodbyes and we left. Walked through IPK and the for the first time ever in my nineteen year old life, I felt the road was so eeriely quiet. I walked down towards Pudu Jail and there was no one there and it was already midnight. I crossed the road and started dancing my way through considering I took out my phone and I started playing Roar by Katy Perry and I hopped plus skipped and danced my way through to my older brother. It was then when I realize there was a freaking foreigner dude who was wearing all black waiting and running after me. He was walking so fast and my heart skipped a beat. I paused the song on my playlist and I took off my shoes. And I ran. I ran for my life half thinking if this man is going to attack me. I am going to scream.

I ran in my skirt towards Times Square and can you believe that god damn road? It was empty! Like freaking empty and thus the whole time, I was just thinking about my older brother and when I saw his car, relieve flushed through all over me and I hugged him and hung on to him for dear life. And heh, he scolded me. He said who does that? Which girl runs in a skirt like that and he nagged me about being a fine young lady and sort. I decided to keep the story to myself considering I need not want him to worry but he did asked me thou, why didn't I wait at the Hang Tuah lrt station anyways and why did I wanted to walk all the way to meet him in Times Square? 
Good question , bro.

All in all, to wrap this day up. I had a good day. Like a real good one and I had so much fun. It was so nice to go for a mini reunion like this and to catch up? I did realize something thou, I did stop thinking for a little while. Maybe that is exactly what I need. Time off with my besties to stop all this emotional nonsense messed up mind. So, time to stop slacking and to begin with my holiday homeworks already. I got to really bust my ass up for this week if I really do wanna be in PESS IU this Saturday. Got to make my god darn self realize that I've been going out too too much, way too much for this two weeks of holidays and it is time to finally settle down and start my assignments now and get all this over with.
 Focus Raveenaa, focus!

He sent this to me before whilst clearing off text messages I saw this ;
"Hey, thank you so much for today. You made me realized something that I should have realize sooner. Thank you so much for everything that
 you've done for me".

And exactly at moment like these I would be all messed up thinking about reasons why we have argued for so many times. At moments like these I would torment myself trying to figure you out. At hour like these I wonder if things would really work out? Would things ever be the same? Would things never be awkward again? Would you really be there for me forever and more? Can we just go back? When things were so much more simpler back then. And I get it, that people do mess things up. That we mess things up. But just don't let one beautiful thing ruin everything. Do you miss me like I missed you? I feel like I'm choking myself you know. I feel like I am walking towards a dead end. Everything felt like it is shutting its way down on me and all I am ever getting is never a reason why. Without you, there isn't a point of me. Am I really gambling everything upright? Am I gambling this friendship upfront? I don't know :( I really don't. If there is one thing I could say, I feel miserable, without you. It almost feels like you're here but you're not here to watch me shine and grow. I just want you to realize that you've impact me this much in life and your footprints just wouldn't leave this soul. I want you to be aware of that. I guess, you're better off without me and all I ever wanted to see, was to see you smiling. 
Was your ever longing happiness.

Speaking of which ; today remarks the music history. Music emergency thou. Katy Perry released her Roar thirteen hours ago and Lady Gaga released her Appaluse eight days earlier as the songs were already leaked. Lets just wait and see who wins number one for the next billboard okay :] May the best lady wins <3

Like I said : Roar is catchy but 
Applause's beat is breathtaking.
Till then, adios lovers <3

HEART ATTACK 

DEMI LOVATO :]

Been up lately reading this, I think you followers should get this a copy each for yourself too thou! :]

Sometimes we have to shut people out of our lives, not because we want to, but because they hurt us so much, we have to.

-Safe Haven-